FEATURED Guest Mama Blogger: Infertility

13 months TTC, 1 loss, and 2 IUIs later...

this was the day we got to see our rainbow baby for the first time.

I wouldn’t say I was excited for this day, I was more anxious than anything!

Would there be a sac, would there be a bean, would there be a heartbeat, would there be ANYTHING?

These were the thoughts that ran through my head leading up to this appointment.

We sat down in the room and my OB could find the sac quickly, but nothing inside (at first).

My heart sank - I knew this was going to happen.

I knew it.

I could see him trying to do everything he could to find baby.

He asked the nurse to move us to the other room because he wanted to use a different ultrasound machine.

Minutes felt like hours...

I sat down and there it was.

My precious dot with a flickering heartbeat.

I couldn’t believe it. Relief set in for a minute, before I could start worrying about my next appointment and seeing a heartbeat!

Once you experience loss and/or infertility, all sense of being naive about pregnancy vanish.

It isn’t always roses and happiness...

it’s a lot of stress, anxiety, and worrying.

@psplechta_birthphotography

FEATURED Guest Mama Blogger: RAINBOW BABY

Guest Blogger: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS IN GUEST POST BY PAULINA SPLECHTA BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait

Adventures of being a boy mom, IUI baby due February 2020

Rainbow baby...

a term some of us expecting after loss cherish using & a term some don’t want to use at all.

For me, I truly love calling this child growing I am growing my rainbow baby...that’s exactly what he is, the rainbow after our storm.

He is my reminder there is a glimmer of hope after one of the toughest chapters of my life.

During loss, I had to smile through my pain for work and for my baby boy who had no idea what was happening, he was only 15 months at the time.

I longed for the day I was pregnant again with our rainbow.

Where do you stand....for or against the term “rainbow baby?”🌈

(this picture is from my pregnancy announcement)

I will never forget the day we took these “day in the life” Photos.

It was a few days after I had heard “not a viable pregnancy” and every time I look at them it is all I can think of. That moment in time truly felt like pain.

Pain I have never felt before in my life. Waiting for my body to miscarry our baby we wanted so badly.

Never wanting to let go. Some days I feel so guilty for thinking this way, while carrying my rainbow baby...and wondering who it was that we lost.

We would have a 3 month old baby right now - it’s hard to let that thought go, even though I can’t wait to meet my little boy! Mom guilt gets the best of me some days.

@sonjuphotography

Photo Above by Sonju Photography https://www.sonjuphotography.com/

FEATURED Guest Mama Blogger: Wirth The Wait

Guest Blogger: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS IN GUEST POST BY PAULINA SPLECHTA BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/

Adventures of being a boy mom, IUI baby due February 2020

The graduation appointment.

The appointment EVERYONE who sees an RE longs for.

It was so surreal to walk in & receive a folder with my whole medical history there to bring to my OB’s office.

Even more surreal to know, the next time I set foot in this office, I will be in my third trimester.

I was very fortunate to have the staff at @bocafertility take such good care of me during my journey with them.

Not all Reproductive endocrinologist offices care for you as though you’re family. Saying “see you later” was bittersweet...I anticipated this day, I couldn’t wait for it, but it was more emotional than I could ever imagine.

FEATURED Guest Mama Blogger: Gender Disappointment After Miscarriage

Guest Blogger: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS IN GUEST POST BY PAULINA SPLECHTA BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER

(UNLESS SPECIFIED)

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/

Adventures of being a boy mom, IUI baby due February 2020

Gender disappointment.

RANT AHEAD.

Let’s discuss this, because it is something that has really bothered me lately.

With our first pregnancy, we waited until birth to see if we had a son or daughter!

It was the most fun surprise, but this time around I felt we had waited long enough to get to this point...

we didn’t want to wait.

When the cannons popped blue, the first question many people asked was,

“are you going to try for a girl?!”

In my head I thought, “are you f*cking kidding me right now?”

I responded a little softer with...

”I am going to cherish in THIS pregnancy and THIS baby, since we waited for him for so long.”

After the struggle we endured, I will never understand gender disappointment, I cringe before going to gender reveals where people are adamant they want a girl or boy, but I know I can’t project those feelings onto anyone.

Thanks for listening.

TLDR;

every baby is special...boy or girl!!! 💙💖

📷: @psplechta_birthphotography

You can follow Claire and her fertility journey here: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/

FEATURED Guest Blogger: My baby will be safe when he is in my arms | Infertility

Guest Blogger: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS IN GUEST POST BY PAULINA SPLECHTA BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER

(UNLESS SPECIFIED)

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/

Adventures of being a boy mom, IUI baby due February 2020

Guest Blogger: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

A little introduction, my name is Claire and I am a mama to my son Cain (2) and rainbow baby due in February 2020. Our first baby was an easy journey, from TTC, pregnancy, you name it. He was born at 37 weeks and we had a relatively easy labor & delivery.

Fast forward to starting to try for #2 in May 2018...month after month passed with no ➕test. I started wondering if there was an issue we were unaware of...finally on thanksgiving I got the best surprise, Pregnant! We were very happy, but something inside kept preventing me from getting overly excited.

We lost our baby around 8 weeks pregnant and we were devastated. It was the midst of the holidays and I had to paint a smile on my face while going through the most painful chapter of my life.

Months passed by, still not pregnant (again), and I finally made my appointment with the fertility clinic. We got all of the routine testing out of the way (no issues for myself or my husband - unexplainable infertility, beyond frustrating). 2 rounds of IUI, countless shots, and many ultrasounds later (thank you @bocafertility for making our dreams come true)- we are almost 24 weeks into pregnancy and expecting a baby boy in February 2020.

Infertility and loss can be a very lonely journey if you allow it to be - I have been very open about my ups and downs through it all with the hope it inspires even one person to heal and be open with their story. Never forgotten, always remembered. 📷: @psplechta_birthphotography

Intrauterine Insemination: IUI

IUI #2 (Intrauterine Insemination: IUI) The cycle that FINALLY worked. This is when @psplechta_birthphotography and I came together with the idea of a creating documentary - from start to finish...from conception to birth. I can’t wait to see this whole story come together.

For now - we soak in the joy at each appointment once everything is confirmed to still be OK, hearing our baby’s beautiful heart beat, and watching him move all around 🥰🌈

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/

It’s amazing how such a small container can bring back such a rush of memories. Filled with my gonal F and trigger shots, a part of me cannot let it go. It brought me my rainbow baby. How can you throw that away! Even at 23w6d pregnant, I still hold my breath before every appointment because I know deep down anything can go wrong at anytime!

My baby will be safe when he is in my arms.

Viability milestone

Today is a big day in our journey, today we reach 2️⃣4️⃣ weeks pregnant.

Viability milestone.

I can hardly believe it! If our baby boy was delivered anytime after today, he has a greater chance of survival, which makes me feel breathe a little more easy.

My first baby was born at 3️⃣7️⃣ weeks, so we wonder if this one will come early, on time, or late!

Hard to believe this IUI miracle growing in my belly has come so far!

📷: @psplechta_birthphotography

You can follow Claire and her fertility journey here: Claire Wirth of Instagram: wirththewait

https://www.instagram.com/wirththewait/