The Best moments in Mom Life

Today I had the best morning which slowly turned into afternoon without my awareness with my dearest friend Lena. We met up just after dropping my kids off at preschool in Coral Springs, at Trend Tea in Boca Raton. 

Walking into the Wyndham Hotel in Boca, I was swept off my feet because what is the most exciting thing for a photographer than natural light and huge, grandious windows?! 

I mean come on Wyndham Boca Raton! This is so gorgeous! I may need a staycation here!

As Lena was setting up the tripod to capture the two of us sipping on delicious Cafe Lattes, my eyes were dancing with ideas of how sweepingly lovely it would be to comfortably relax in a corner sofa with a birth client and chat about her birth plan and meeting her little baby.

My favorite part about being a birth photographer in south Florida, and especially Boca Raton, is that life moves at a slow pace most days, and gets exciting and spontaneous when a birth client is in early labor.

So there is time for sipping tea, telling jokes and planning the next 5 to 10 years of our mom lives in south Florida. 

Lifestyle Photo Sessions | Preserve your memories forever

Meet my partner Lena. She is my best friend. Her family is from Germany and she is so sweet, that girl next door vibe :)

Lena is the mother & woman who inspires me to take better care of myself. When you work in the birth world (the birth industry) you tend to do so with an overflowing heart. Wanting to give all your love and time to everyone around you, and often forget self care.

Watching Lena be so adamant about putting her family and little ones first, having that clear mind and determination of what her goals, love for her art and life priorities are, helps to inspire me everyday. First it started with me taking the time to really dress myself to feel happy and good about myself when I look in the mirror. It is amazing how putting on a flattering outfit can lift you up, in terms of making you feel good about yourself! Then she inspired me to cook more for my family. It's little things like this that really make a difference in my everyday life. The details. Lena is all about details and she puts so much love and care into everything she does. 

Lena is an amazing lifestyle photographer. She has a fiery passion for eternalizing every little moment before our kids get too big. 

When you treasure the newborn moments that fleet so quickly when your little one doubles their birth weight in just a few short weeks, then slowly starts to smile everyday and then next thing you know, your newborn baby is an infant who is sitting unassisted, and you are just yearning to hold onto them while they are still tiny, and to remember the entire first year with your little miracle. 

How to Hire the right OBGYN for your birth

When I was pregnant with my second child, I realized I wanted a different experience from my first birth.
I wanted to be educated about my pregnancy and the stages of labor,  to be informed and confident in my preferences for my birth.

I never felt like I had good communication with the OB I hired for my first birth.

When you have great communication with your doctor/midwife and trust them, it is easier to trust their recommendations during your labor, especially should your birth take an unforeseen turn.

But if you did not establish a good foundation for communication with your provider during your pregnancy or don't feel supported in the way you need, it may be difficult for you to trust your provider during birth.

Based on what is important to you and what your birth preferences are, it is vital to ask your provider some of the recommended questions below during your pregnancy, to make sure you are with the right provider who you will trust during birth:

26 QUESTIONS TO ASK AN OBGYN OR HOSPITAL MIDWIFE BEFORE YOU HAVE YOUR BABY:

Question #1

The most important question is going to be the Question to Yourself.

No matter how recommend a medical provider is, they won't be the right provider for you unless they meet your personal criteria.

How does your provider make you feel?

Do you feel supported, respected, do they listen and answer your questions patiently?

Question #2

Are you open to birth plans?

Question #3

What hospitals do you have privileges at?

Question #3

How many vaginal checks do you do during pregnancy and during labor? Should I get them, how necessary are they, what are the benefits/downsides and when do I need to have them done?

Question #4

Under what circumstances during pregnancy would you recommend an induction? How can an induction affect the outcome of my birth (vaginal / cesarean). What type of inductions do you do?

Question #5

What is your opinion of doulas? What percentage of your patients use a doula? What doulas do you recommend?

Question #6

Under what circumstances during labor would you recommend to administer medications such as cervidil or pitocin?

Question #7

How do you handle past due dates? (Over 40 weeks, over 41 weeks)

Question #8

What is your percentage of your patients get an epidural, What percentage have vaginal births? / percentage of c-sections?

Under what circumstances during pregnancy would you recommend a scheduled cesarean?

Question #9

How many people are in the practice?

Who is your back up Midwife or OB?

Who is the OB covering doctor? How is he/she during labor? When can I meet them?

Question #10

What are your feelings about delayed cord clamping? How long do you delay for? Can you do cord blood banking AND delayed cord clamping?

Question #11

What are your feelings on the dad catching the baby, or me catching my own baby? Will you deliver the baby? Or will you assist me in birthing him/her/them?

Question #12

Are you planning any vacations, trips, major surgeries, or other events 3-4 weeks before my due date, or up to 2 weeks after my due date that would interfere with your attendance at the birth?

Question #13

How do you feel about hypnobirthing? Are you experienced with delivering babies for moms who are using hypnobirthing?

Question #14

What positions do you feel comfortable delivering in? (on back, squatting (using a squat bar), on all fours (knees and elbows)?

Question #15

How does it work if I am GBS positive - how often do you administer antibiotics during labor and do you do specific procedures with the baby after birth

Question #16

Do you do IV/Heplock? Are you ok with laboring tubs, (or hydrotherapy by standing in the hospital shower), eating small snacks during labor?

Question #17

What are the pros and cons of vitamin K shot and eye ointment

Question #18

Do you offer or suggest taking specific childbirth preparation courses?

Question #19

During labor, how close together should my contractions be before I head to the hospital?

Question #20

If my water breaks before labor (contractions) even begins, how long can I labor at home for before I am required to go to the hospital?

Question #21

What happens in the event of pre-term labor before 38 weeks?

Question #22

Under what circumstances, if any, do you perform episiotomies? Do you recommend doing perineum massages throughout pregnancy leading up to birth?

Question #23

How long will you and/or your support team stay with mom and baby after the birth?

Question #24

Is breastfeeding support offered?

Question #25

Is your practice VBAC friendly?

Question #26

Do you deliver breech? [Most babies will move into delivery position a few weeks prior to birth, with the head moving closer to the birth canal. When this fails to happen, the baby's buttocks and/or feet will be positioned to be delivered first. This is referred to as “breech presentation.”]

Do you recommend trying to turn the baby if the baby is in breech position during labor or in the last few weeks of pregnancy or do you recommend a cesarean birth?

Follow this link to read 20 Questions to Ask a Doula

Capturing Sibling Love: A Big Sister's First Meeting with Newborn Baby Ainhoa in South Florida

As a seasoned birth photographer and videographer in Boca Raton, Florida, I'm privileged to witness countless heartwarming moments. However, few compare to the tender beauty of siblings meeting their newborn brother or sister for the first time.

The Magic of First Encounters: A Big Sister's Love

The bond between a mother and her newborn is undeniable. But witnessing a mother's pride as her older children embrace their new sibling is equally magical. It's a transformation, a shift in roles, and a blossoming of love that touches the soul.

In this beautiful birth story, big sisters eagerly greet baby Ainhoa, their love and excitement radiating through every gentle touch and curious gaze. These precious moments remind us of the power of family and the innate nurturing instincts within us all.

Boca Raton Birth Photography: Preserving Your Family's Story

Based in Boca Raton, I specialize in capturing the raw emotions and genuine connections that unfold during childbirth and the early days of parenthood. Whether it's a hospital birth, a home birth, or a joyful sibling reunion, I'm dedicated to creating timeless images that you'll treasure forever.

Serving South Florida and Beyond: Your Premier Birth Storyteller

I'm proud to be one of the most sought-after birth photographers in the United States, serving families throughout South Florida, including Palm Beach and Broward Counties. My commitment to excellence and personalized service has also led me to document births across the country and even internationally.

Book Your Birth Story Today: Limited Availability!

If you're expecting and desire a beautiful and authentic record of your birth experience, don't hesitate to reach out. I take on a limited number of birth clients each month to ensure personalized attention and exceptional service.

Enchanting Maternity Photoshoot at Bethesda by the Sea: A European Oasis in Palm Beach

Escape the ordinary and immerse yourself in the enchanting beauty of Bethesda by the Sea, a hidden gem nestled in the heart of Palm Beach, Florida. This historic Episcopal church, with its sprawling gardens and charming architecture, evokes a sense of European elegance that's truly unique in South Florida.

Luxury Maternity Photography: A Haven for Expectant Parents

As a luxury maternity photographer based in Boca Raton, I'm always seeking extraordinary locations to capture the radiant glow of expectant mothers. Bethesda by the Sea offers a tranquil escape from the typical beach backdrop, creating an ambiance of serenity and timeless beauty.

A Rustic Maternity Session: Celebrating a First-Time Pregnancy

This delightful couple, eagerly awaiting their first child, a baby boy, desired a maternity photoshoot that felt both magical and rustic. Having flown in from the Bahamas, they sought a departure from the familiar coastal scenery. The lush greenery and historic charm of Bethesda by the Sea provided the perfect setting to document their love and anticipation.

Award-Winning Photography: South Florida's Premier Birth & Maternity Photographer

Recently voted Palm Beach County's best photographer, I specialize in capturing life's most precious moments, from the miracle of birth to the tender beauty of motherhood. My passion lies in creating timeless images that families will treasure for generations.

Serving Global Clientele: Destination Maternity & Birth Photography

While based in South Florida, my services extend far beyond. I've had the privilege of documenting births and maternity sessions across the globe, from Iceland and Scotland to Switzerland and beyond. I'm available for travel and destination shoots, ensuring your special moments are captured wherever your journey takes you.

Contact Me Today: Book Your Dream Maternity Session

Are you expecting and seeking a luxury maternity photography experience? Let's create something extraordinary together. Contact me today to learn more about my services and secure your session.

The Invisible Breastfeeding Community, Mama You are Not Alone

Breastfeeding moms you’ll want to read this one.

When it comes to being mothers of young children, we need to stand in solidarity and offer our support, and put our own personal agendas and prejudices aside and offer non-judgemental support.

Each of us makes decisions daily that someone else may not agree with. But we are being good mothers who sacrifice, love endlessly, and fight for our baby cubs.

**Disclaimer: Please read this blog post and reply with kindness. Hurtful comments will be banned. This mother (and other moms who I know in my community as well as nationwide) have received more than enough judgement and negativity and do not need to receive anymore through my art work. This image is being shared FOR those mothers, who feel alone, who feel like they should have to hide, for those who have no one to stand up on their behalf and say "yes, you are a great mother, and this bond you have is beautiful, selfless, kind, proper and sacred” so I will stand up for them.

Below you can read the mom's thoughts on extended Breastfeeding and how she feels about publicly talking about it, it was her side of the conversation as we discussed whether or not to share this image online. The following written message was shared onto this blog with the approval from the mom who wrote it:

“I am conflicted. On one hand, I don't want to share a picture in a way that my family would see it. They thought breastfeeding beyond a year was self-indulgent, even bordering on obscene. Some of my family unfollowed me on FB when I posted sweet nursing pictures during breastfeeding week when my daughter was 2. I do not want to deal with their criticism again. There are some fights you just can't win.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a 5 or 6 year old who still wants to nurse. Many 5 and 6 year olds nurse, but no one talks about it. And no one will talk about it if no one starts talking about it. BUT, I don't know if I want that conversation to start with me.

After about age 3 or 4, nursing is not demanding like it is with an infant or a toddler. It's not as much about nutrition, as it is about soothing comfort, intimacy with your little one, and habit. By the time your child reaches age 3 or 4, it's very different. You don't need as much outside physical and emotional support. Your child can understand waiting to nurse if you want to be discreet. Nursing my daughter has been easy these last couple years.

I guess if you have a way to share a picture that won't show up on my FB wall, then go for it. I'm sure there are mothers who will benefit. I'm sure there are mothers whose children would like to continue nursing but are cut short because the mother thinks she is supposed to wean by a certain age. I admit I thought it was weird too, until I saw a couple of my La Leche League co-leaders allowing their children to self-wean. Seeing them opened up my eyes, for sure. Children WILL wean on their own. Many awesome kids (like mine) still nurse and you'd never guess it. In the end, it's nobody's business - it's between the mother and her child. Each woman should have the freedom and the courage to follow her own breastfeeding path.

I don't know if I've shared any words of wisdom... What I have learned is that mothering is the hardest job: it takes great courage for a mother to stand up for her beliefs and stand up for what feels right for her and her child. But every time she does it, she works her mothering muscles and she gets stronger. And in the end she becomes a warrior."

-Christine, nursing her daughter (age 6)

The Real Mothers You Know Who are Suffering from Post Partum Depression

A few weeks ago, Michelle Brown of ihelpmoms.com and I banded together to pull together a project that hits very close to home.

Michelle graciously offered her studio space in her home and I interviewed several real mothers in our local community here in south Florida about their experiences with post partum depression.

These courageous women share their stories below in an effort to help raise awareness that post partum depression (and general depression) can truly affect any woman. 

They share their personal experiences, their struggles, how PPD has affected their relationships and an insight into what they really need and how mothers suffering from post partum depression can get help. 

Caroline lives in south Florida with her husband and two girls under the age of three. She is a private chef, essential oils distributor and full time stay at home mom.

THE STRUGGLE

Caroline feels that the struggle of keeping it together and being the mom that she thinks she’s suppose to be affects her relationship with her first born. She feels a disconnect with her, feeling more bonded with the baby. She sees so much chaos at home, and easily gets frustrated when her first born doesn’t listen, doesn’t eat well, and she is frustrated that moms who have sleep trained kids can easily put them down, while she struggles with bedtime. The feeling of anxiety of being alone with both of her children is overwhelming to her. There are days that she feels down and she looks at her children and is inspired. But she feels miserable that she cannot manage her at times out of control emotions and feels terrible that she has cried in front of her children because she doesn’t want them to see her that way. So she tries to control her emotions and stay in neutral and takes deep breaths to prevent her emotions from going out of control in front of them.

MARRIAGE

She feels that her lack of confidence in her mothering frustrates her husband, in that he cannot help her confidence and positivity go back to how she was before having children. She feels it has cause their relationship to suffer. It is frustrating to her when her husband isn’t able to relate to what she is going through. She wants to tell her husband that she needs more softness and understanding for her shortcomings in her own confidence, calmness and positivity.

WHAT CAN HELP IS INSIGHT

She felt what her best friend told her was accurate, insightful and helpful advice to her: To give herself a break. Although she feels that sleep training is a sensitive topic, that she has to sleep train her children because she has to get her life back. She recognizes that she is sleep deprived and suffering. She felt it was truthful telling when her older daughter’s teacher said can see that she and her husband feel out of control and feel like they lost control because their older daughter has all of it, and she finds that to be especially true as they have allowed their older daughter to affect their dedication to their own marriage with date nights. She knows that at the end of the day she is doing a good job and is a good mother and that her children are lucky and loved but she acknowledges that she puts this pressure on herself that she is never doing enough, especially when she sees everyone else being that ideal parent based off of happy facebook pictures and she wants to be that parent to her own children.

The Dark Side of Birth, Rarely in the Spotlight *trigger warning*

There is a Dark Side of birth that is rarely spoken about. It is spoken about in the dark corners of the post partum 4th trimester. And sometimes it creeps into the years following a woman's birth.

There's a purpose to why I am speaking about it here.

You never know if you're going to be the incredible woman who is deeply, emotionally affected by her unique birthing experience, only until after your baby is born.

If the dark side of birth isn't spoken about, we are doing a disservice to the women among us who continue to suffer in silence, and are doing a disservice to expecting mothers and future mothers who will not know that birth can sometimes have a negative outcome emotionally, and how they can prevent a lifetime of emotional trauma.

What women need is information.

Information = Empowerment

In order to be fully informed, a mother must face the facts that there is a negative truth to birth.

But this post is not intended to simply inform women of the negative truth. It's purpose serves to guide women on how to conquer the possible negative side to birth, before that day ever comes, (should it come).

As women who believe in birth, love birth, support women through pregnancy and birth, we should be informing of the negative truth, because knowledge is power.

If a woman is informed of negative birth facts, and is given the tools to make informed decisions, she has greater chances at preventing her own emotional trauma, despite birth not going as planned.

MY EXPERIENCE

Me and my amazing thriving girls have lived through two extremely emotionally traumatic experiences (and the aftermath of the two cesareans brought with them the physical trauma I suffer from to this day).

As a woman who attends births all year round as a birth photographer, first and foremost, I support women in what their birth plan is. Whatever that plan may be. I believe that the priority is for a woman to feel safe, empowered and supported in how she needs. 

If a woman needs a cesarean birth because that is what will make her feel safe, positive, or because that is what is medically necessary, she can depend on me supporting her endlessly without judgement.

However, there is no doubt that cesarean birth can have a very difficult physical and sometimes emotional toll on a woman. And this holds true to vaginal birth as well. For some mothers bodies, vaginal birth can have a very difficult physical and sometimes emotional toll on a woman.

For some the impact is not a difficult one, and for others it is. Every woman's body and mind reacts differently to birth. And for that reason, it is integral to a positive birth experience for a woman to have a birth team that will guide her through her emotional and physical needs, a team she can trust, a team that gives her the endless, nonjudgemental support that she needs.

MY LOSS

I will never have the beautiful and peaceful meeting day with my girls that I had planned, our family is complete and I do not have the opportunity to make good decisions a third time. I did not choose birth teams for either of my births who supported me in the way I needed.

(with the exception of 2 amazing Boca Raton Regional nurses who made me feel safer when I was scared during my first child's birth)

I made decisions based on what provider accepted my insurance, and based on who was available. It was only after I had my babies that I realized those decisions were the wrong decisions for me personally.

The journey (both emotionally and physically) has been a difficult one for me. However, as I approach my youngest's 2nd birthday, almost two years after her birth, and five years of being a mother, I am finally starting to find the courage to turn my pain into a positive - I want to help inform and guide moms to choose the right birth team for them, making a birth plan they feel good about, listening to their intuition and instincts, all things I did not do.

HOW TO BULLETPROOF YOUR BIRTH

It's a funny choice of words. There's no real way to bulletproof your birth. 

Why?

Because birth is the single most unpredictable thing in life.

You may choose the best birth team for you specifically, a wonderful birthing facility, but your body or your baby may have different plans.

But that does not mean to give up hope.

Give yourself the best chances to have a positive and empowering experience.

Why? 

In the event your birth plan A and plan B and even plans C, D, E and F do not happen, and out of left field comes plan G that wasn't even on the table, in that sometimes scary, uncertain situation you want to surround yourself with the people who you feel you trust 100%. You want to look to your left and look to your right and see the people who you have felt safe with throughout your entire pregnancy. The people who empower you the way you need. Who give you the support that you need.

If you find yourself in plan G and you are scared, unsure, you may not feel very empowered anymore, you may feel alone, it is choosing that solid birth team that will help prevent those rising feelings from conquering you, from keeping you from having a positive experience.

A midwife or OBGYN who you trust flawlessly with your life, with your child's life, and who makes you feel confident, honored and respected, will make such a difference in a moment when things are out of your hands.

A doula who cares and supports you exactly in the moment you need it, who doesn't leave your side, who puts you first ahead of anything else going on in the world in that moment, that is the person you want holding your hand and giving you facts and affirmations the moment when you've lost hope, she finds it for you. 

How?

Interview, interview, interview.

Do you remember looking for your wedding dress? Did you buy the first one you tried on because it was THE ONE? If you did, lucky you :)

I tried on 20-30 dresses because I kept putting on these A line princess ball gowns and felt they did not compliment me at all. I felt insecure and questioned whether I thought I was beautiful to begin with. Then suddenly, in a new store, I saw a mermaid style wedding dress. It was on the rack in the "expensive section." I didn't even see the actual gown from top to bottom, I just saw the fabric, hand sewn silk with intricate detail that was evident to me someone had really invested a great deal of time into it. I looked at my dearest friend Monika (who had gone with me from store to store, encouraging me through the disappointing dress try-ons) and I said, I'm not even going to look at the price tag. (I was so past the point of what my wedding dress budget was; I was willing to pay way more than my budget if it meant finding the ONE that made me feel beautiful and confident). I darted for the dressing room. The dress wasn't even completely on, and not even zipped and I was crying, I was saying "this is the one!!!" 

Perhaps this story is a little silly (it's a true story) in terms of comparing it to your birth team. But I use this example, because these tremendous moments that require pause and consideration in our life, require great planning and good decisions if on the inside, we really want to feel like we made the right decision that WE feel confident about. 

So don't take lightly to choosing your birth team. 

Your experiences with them on the day of your baby's birth will remain with you in your heart and mind every day for the rest of your life.

** My birth client who had an amazing birth team (Boca Midwifery at Boca Raton Regional Hospital).

Getting Real with Paulina

To be completely honest and transparent, last night when I wrote this blog post, I totally felt like this was going to be my "get real with Paulina" blog post where I finally feel some confidence, like I finally can say from a confidant stand point that I got my ish together today.

This morning, when the wave of obligations impacted, my emotions got a little disturbed. I told my husband, I'm just going to skip lunch, I'm too stressed.

When I get stressed, I can't eat. My stomach does flips and turns and I have no desire for self nourishment, I just need to accomplish, settle, finalize. 

So before I get into today's blog post, I want to address my greatest struggle. 

BALANCE

I struggle SO much with balance. I don't know if its that I lack the time management skills or if I simply and plain put have way too much on my plate at all times, but balancing all my life and work obligations is truly my greatest struggle. 

I was having a conversation with one of my dearest friends and favorite doulas, Lisa Raynor, and I told her, "I haven't done anything for myself in I really don't know how long."

It's so true. It's very easy for me to become swept up in efficiency, power machine through life and work and kids and forget that I need down time, relaxation, self care. Self care that often gets pushed back to the end of that 4 page list of to do's I have, and let's be honest, I've never gotten out of page 1 and its been months.  

 The mommy life to small, wild children / the full time photographer life / the I own and operate my own business from home life is my greatest life's challenge.

So when I watched mompreneur Louise Glendon of ClickLoveGrow.com on Vicky Lashenko's show on facebook talking about how she and her husband had to get real and she had to cut out and simplify because she had too much on her plate, I commented on that interview with this:

“Hands down that’s exactly what is my biggest struggle, but instead of downsizing I am waiting for kids to go to elementary school - because childcare is my biggest problem!”

— https://www.facebook.com/pg/MompreneurShowLIVE/videos/?ref=page_internal

So without further ado, let me get into the blog post I wrote up for you guys last night:

I just love the mompreneur show run by Vicky Lashenko on Facebook.

I love how real the conversations get.

Not knowing what you're going to make for dinner because you didn't do your groceries because way too much obligation falls on your shoulders - I can't even begin to count how many times I've been there!

Almost 5 years ago when I had my first daughter I made the super risky transition from a steady income working for a graphics / virtual reality medical military contractor to being ALL IN the full time stay at home mom / pro photographer game. I even remember telling my husband, "if I'm not meant to be doing this then I will have no success," and then it ended up going completely the other way.

I'm a big believer in the school of thought that if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and you give it your all, that successful will come to you, but if you find yourself faced with no success it means there is a door with much greater opportunity uniquely designed for you that you are just steps away from uncovering.

And let me tell you it was not all green lights from this point, let me get real with you for a second and just completely open & honestly say that being a stay at home mom has not been the walk in the park I thought it would be. I totally anticipated a life filled with smiles, snuggles, feeling blessed and joyful and grateful day to day I definitely was not expecting postpartum depression to come out of left field and derail my entire "business plan" for my life as a stay at home mom.

My struggle with it definitely made things way harder when it reappeared after the birth of my second daughter in the form of panic attacks anxiety attacks. I think that it was the start of the second year of my daughters life that was the biggest challenge for me of the five years of being a mom. The amount of obstacles that we were met with truly tried our family. In fact, we are currently only in the baby stages of having just emerged this huge cloud that has been hovering over us for a good solid year.

During this time I had to pull together my ambition to see past the personal struggle of nothing working harmoniously in our personal lives and continue to push through professionally with my pro photographer business. But it wasn't just for the sake of finances. We made the only-one-spouse-working dynamic happen before. Granted we have two kids now and our living expenses are higher, I continued to push through with my business because it fulfilled me on multiple levels.

Vicky said in this interview, when you're filled with passion you'll get up however early to make it happen and that is so true. Through my art I find myself more confident, energetic, awake, alive, and I'm willing to make sacrifices and I have made many sacrifices to achieve the goals I have with my company. But it doesn't stop there, because I definitely had to have a supportive spouse to make it through the most trying of times. I made sacrifices but so did he. That's the only way my business could have not only survived but also thrived.

And despite not experiencing being a stay at home mom as the most blissful experience of my life, it was those struggles of my personal life as a mother and wife that provided a blank canvas for me to paint my emotions and plunge myself deeply into supporting women through art.

If it had not been for my passion for what I do, there is no way my work would have ever become a strong enough artist to run my own business, my personality would have never opened up to be transparent and real enough to be relatable for my clients, there's no way that anyone would ever trust that I am a committed professional -- because you just can't fake any of that.

It takes long, late hours and days and weeks and months and years to get to where you're wanting to go and also realizing as an artist that your work actually won't ever be good enough for YOU, that's when you realize you can be confidant about your work, when you realize you aren't 100% content with your art. That inkling of discontentment with your work is what will always keep pushing you to get ahead of yourself and achieve greater work with each new endeavor. The moment you feel like you've done it all, you've reached the top is the moment your endless creativity and passion is tapped.

A 40 hour work week and steady income would have definitely made our lives far less complicated but as an artist I could have never made it far in any of those careers.

18 Questions to Help You Hire the Right Doula for You

How to Hire the Right Doula for You

Positive Birthing experiences start with facts and information to help mothers make informed decisions

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It's not enough just to hire a doula

It's not enough to check off your to-do list, yes I hired a doula.

Every doula is different...

In the skill, knowledge and experience she offers you, in the kind of support she offers (during pregnancy and birth), in her personality and character.

If you know you want to hire a doula and would like to have a positive, calming, and empowered prenatal and birth experience, it is important that you find the right doula for YOU.

Let's start with the basics every doula should offer.

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(from the DONA website)

Physical Support

Position ideas for comfort and labor progression cross over with hands-on comfort measures like comforting touch, counter pressure, breathing techniques.

Emotional Support

Doulas help families to feel supported, easing the emotional experience of birth and also helping to create a space where the hormones of labor can work at their best. Whether a birth is completely unmedicated or medically very complex, every family can benefit from nurturing and connection at this tender, incredible time in their lives.

Partner Support

The birth partner’s experience matters in birth. Support the birth partner in being as involved as they’d like with the birth. Physical and emotional support make a huge difference for everyone involved.

Evidence-Based Information and Advocacy

Trained to help families connect with evidence-based resources so they can ask great questions and make informed decisions about their births. Serve as a bridge of communication between women and their providers, lifting them up to help them find their voices and advocate for the very best care. 

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interviewing and finding the right doula

the best match for YOU personally

As experienced a doula may be and as recommended by friends and other moms a doula may be, she won't be the right doula for you unless she meets your personal needs and you connect with her.

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QUESTIONS TO ASK A DOULA

The first important question is to YOU as an expecting mom. 

How does this doula make you feel?

Below, I have included several questions from the baby center website as well as personalized questions I would ask if I were hiring a doula for myself. 

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QUESTION 1

Are you available around my due date (for how many weeks before my due date and if up to 2 weeks after) and if in the event of emergency you are unavailable for my birth, who is your back up and when can I meet her?

What constitutes an emergency for you under which you would not be able to join me during labor/birth?

QUESTION 2

What is your training? Are you certified? If so, by what organization? And what was required in order to receive this certification? How many births have you attended prior to and after becoming certified?

**If you have any concerns about your health during your pregnancy or medical concerns about pregnancy/labor/birth, this is a good time to bring them up to inquire whether she has experience working with mothers in the past with medical needs. 

Does she have experience attending VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), births with breech babies, cesarean births, high anxiety mothers, etc. and how she approaches those sensitive situations.

QUESTION 3

Are you familiar with my doctor/midwife/hospital/birth center? Do you get along well with my caregiver? How comfortable are you attending a hospital birth?

QUESTION 4

When do you join me during labor? What if I need emotional support during early labor before things become intense, are you available then (by phone or in person if needed)? Is there a limit to how many hours of support you offer during labor/birth?

QUESTION 5

How comfortable and how available are you with communicating frequently with me during my pregnancy?

If you are expecting emotional support through out your pregnancy, to help dispel fears, to answer questions throughout your pregnancy, have expectations of being able to communicate fairly quickly (within a few hours of a text), this is a very important question to ask. 

QUESTION 6

Which labor-coping techniques do you think tend to be the most helpful?

**If you have a specific technique or method in mind that you plan to try, ask about her experience with it.

QUESTION 7

How would you work with and involve my partner?

QUESTION 8

How do you feel about the use of pain medication during labor?

QUESTION 9

What's your fee?  and how can I pay for it? How many birth clients do you take per month and why? 

What does your fee cover? How many visits or hours? Do you have anyone else due near the time I'm due?

QUESTION 10

Can I talk to a few of your recent clients?

Can I talk to medical professionals you've worked with in the past?

QUESTION 11

Will we meet again to address any concerns or questions I have and to review our birth plan or birth preferences list?

QUESTION 12

What does being on-call mean?

QUESTION 13

What happens if I have a c-section?

QUESTION 14

If I have difficulty latching my baby, can you help me?

QUESTION 16

What if I go early, before 38 weeks?

QUESTION 17

*If you are planning a Home Birth / Birth Center birth

If I am transferred to the hospital, or need a cesarean, will you go and stay with me the whole time even if just for emotional support?

QUESTION 18

How soon will I see you again after the baby is born?