Post Partum Depression - Good News is That it's Not Here to Stay!

South Florida Psychological Associates in Plantation

Dr. Jaclyn Polsky

Specializing in maternal mental health, which includes postpartum depression/anxiety, infertility, and loss

“The majority of my work is with new and expecting moms, helping them to alleviate negative thoughts and emotions, as well as obtaining the confidence that we sometimes forget that we possess.”

— Dr. Jaclyn Polsky

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When Dr. Jaclyn was in high school, she enrolled in a Psychology course as an elective and she has been hooked ever since. From there, she knew she wanted to major in Psychology while in college and quickly realized that she wanted to go all the way and obtain her doctorate. She believes that it is one of the most interesting fields, with various topics always evolving. Once opening her own private practice, she fell in love with the ability to help others. Whether it be grieving the loss of a loved one, relationship difficulties, postpartum depression following the birth of a baby, or anxiety surrounding an upcoming situation, there is always a solution and a way to alleviate those not-so-pleasant feelings. Dr. Jaclyn strongly believes that therapy is a unique process for each person and she prides herself on utilizing an individualized approach in order to ensure that all individuals receive the appropriate support and guidance necessary to grow and change, and improve their overall quality of life.

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How She Overcame Obstacles in Building Her Business To Help Women

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Like any situation in life, Dr. Jaclyn was presented with obstacles along the way of reaching her ultimate career goal; however, she is a strong believer that overcoming these roadblocks only leads to more strength and confidence. Wanting to offer her patients only the best quality services, she would not settle for anything less; therefore, this road took slightly longer than expected to reach. Dr. Jaclyn says she would not change a thing about this journey.

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How She Impacts Women’s Lives by Specializing in Motherhood

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Being a Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Jaclyn has training in general areas of focus (i.e., depression, anxiety, grief, relationship difficulties, stress, anger management, parent training, etc.); however, her specialty is maternal mental health, which includes postpartum depression/anxiety, infertility, and loss.

The majority of Dr. Jaclyn’s work is with new and expecting moms, helping them to alleviate negative thoughts and emotions, as well as obtaining the confidence that we sometimes forget that we possess.

Moms: You can follow Dr. Jaclyn on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/soflapsych

When opening her own practice, Dr. Jaclyn says she made a promise to herself to maintain an individualized approach for each of her patients. All of her patients have access to her direct e-mail and cell phone number, and she has received amazing feedback regarding the ability to reach her without going through an office manager, answering service, or numerous prompts over the phone. Dr. Jaclyn believes that the ease of these methods of contact is priceless.

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South Florida Psychological Associates in Plantation

150 South Pine Island Road
Suite 369 Plantation, FL 33324

 www.soflapsych.com

954-909-7793

DrPolsky@soflapsych.com

https://www.yelp.com/biz/south-florida-psychological-associates-plantation

https://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=psychologists&find_loc=Plantation%2C+FL

Limited Edition Holiday Fall Photo Sessions

Family Photo Sessions for past birth clients and my birth world colleagues

Saturday November 17th and Sunday November 18th

Times:

9:00AM

10:00AM

11:00AM

1:00PM

2:00PM

3:00PM

4:00PM

5:00PM

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$50 Deposit

This is only the DEPOSIT! Remainder due in full before session of day of. Deposit is NONREFUNDABLE.

Details: $350 — This session includes 30 minutes of shooting, at least 2 spots on park location (bridge and path) and 10 edits. All photos are available via a direct download through an online gallery.

Meet the Pediatric Sleep Specialist who is Changing Sleep for South Florida Moms

When Laura became a mom to her beautiful baby boy Logan over 3 years ago she quickly discovered he was not a good sleeper.

She actually nicknamed him Senor Fussypants, because he fussed and whined day and night.

At the time, she didn’t know this wasn’t normal because he was growing and gaining weight on the standardized growth charts, and she recalls all the doctors telling her that “he’ll grow out of it”.

After a very long year of struggling he did grow out of his medical issues but not out of the sleep issues. So then Laura decided to try and learn everything she could about baby and toddler sleep, and she realized that there is a lot of misinformation out there and almost no support for parents!

As a struggling parent Laura decided to do something about it — she went back to school became certified and started her business:

Good Little SleeperZzz

So as a parent who struggled personally with sleep and infant sleep deprivation, Laura knows the kind of support and guidance parents need during these tough times. Which is why it’s become her passion to help support parents and education them on the topic of their children’s sleep!

The biggest misconception about the work Laura does:

Laura says that when people hear about the work she does, she gets called a “sleep trainer” and parents get nervous because they think that means that she comes into their homes and make their kids cry themselves to sleep (known as the “cry it out” method).

The Truth:

Laura never wanted to use the cry it out method with her own son so she would never ask any parent to do that with their babies.

Laura takes the time to explain, almost daily, to parents that there are gentle ways to teach positive independent sleep habits. She tries and encourages parents not to suffer through, so many parents think its okay to just survive in a sleep deprived state but doesn’t have to be that way!

Laura’s business "Good Little SleeperZzz is about educating and supporting parents struggling with their children’s sleep.

Laura offers families customized sleep plans and in home support.

Parents come to Laura exhausted and seeking guidance, so all her parents have to fill out an in-depth questionnaire which she uses to create their customized sleep plan for their child or children.

Next, she comes into their home to help guide them through implementing the plan and subsequently supporting them through all the new change.

Overall, her goal is to make the experience as positive as possible for both parents and the children.

What makes Good Little SleeperZz unique is Laura’s passion for helping the families she works with, not just help but to really support and guide them during the entire process. Any change can be hard but when you have someone who is there following up everyday (and even during the night), the entire process really becomes a positive one that can really change family’s outlook. There is nothing better for Laura and her company, than working with a struggling family who is just so grateful to have your help and support throughout the process, and then you get to see them really blossom into this beautiful, happy and well rested family. Seeing parents light up when they get their first good night’s sleep is just magical to Laura.

How to get in touch with Laura:

www.goodlittlesleeperzzz.com

754-307-4970

Laura@goodlittlesleeperzzz.com

https://www.instagram.com/goodlittlesleeperzzz/

 https://www.facebook.com/GoodLittleSleeperZzz/

What's the appeal nowadays with professional pics taken during birth?

I was recently asked a really good question by a labor doula…

…"What's the appeal nowadays with professional pics taken during birth?”

This is actually a really important topic we should talk about together as a community, so I brought it here to my birth blog…

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7 life-impacting reasons expecting couples decide to hire me as their professional birth photographer

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1. Memories & Emotions are Important

It’s so important to my birth clients that their transformative experience is documented — for the emotions they experience in becoming such a powerful woman during their labor, to remember the bond they shared with their partner during this experience, to capture their completely raw and unplanned emotional reaction to seeing and touching their baby for the first time.

2. Risk of losing everything

Another thing that most of my birth clients tell me is one of the reasons they choose to hire me is because they don’t want to risk leaving it in the hands of someone who might be taking pictures of a birth for the first time, or someone who may be emotionally compromised in the moment, such as grandparents, friends, dad or the other parent who is witnessing their baby being born. I’ve heard this from many of my birth photography clients with regards to photos from their previous births — as in they don’t have any — their partner was so captivated when they saw their child they forgot to take photos of the moment. Many of my birth clients are having their second or third baby and they remember what their photos look like from their previous birth where dad, grandma, sister or friend took the pictures: most pictures are blurry and this makes sense, an inexperienced hand that belongs to a really excited family member, tends to also be an unsteady hand. Birth clients also recall cell phone / cheap camera pictures from previous births being either too dark or too bright, which makes perfect sense to me, since without knowing the birth process and how different medical providers work during birth, you may not know when to expect sudden bright lights or the opposite. Fluorescent lighting in hospitals is especially tricky to work with and can cause pictures to come out with weird bands, or oddly green/yellow photographs.

3. Not Being Part of the Story

I think that the #1 thing my birth clients tell me is the reason they hire me is because they want to know what his reaction will be, they want to see what his reaction will look like, they want their partner or spouse to be PART of the birth story.

Did you know that most pictures taken at births are taken by dad/partner/spouse? That means usually the only pictures of them are holding the baby way after delivery, when you’ve had the time to get comfortable, and that initial raw reaction of his PURE AMAZEMENT has faded. The family pictured below did not want to give up that moment a second time so they hired me to capture them meeting their second daughter.

This family pictured below knew that an experience like becoming parents for the first time ever was something they couldn’t miss and chose to hire me for the birth of their first child, a baby boy.

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4. Umm.. that’s not exactly what I wanted a picture of…

Often times when a family member or friend is taking pictures at a birth, the pictures end up being not exactly what the mom had in mind.

Many of my birth clients tell me that to them — the most important FEELING about their birth story photos was to see the emotional bonding between mom & her partner, between mom & baby, daddy & baby; but often times when it is someone who is inexperienced in photographing a birth story, they often focus on the wrong things — they might photograph the baby crowning (and often at a very unflattering angle!) but totally forget about mom’s face in the moment she realizes she’s really doing it! They may photograph the doctor holding up the baby but not mom and dad’s faces lighting up and crying and smiling like crazy at the first sight of their baby.

When it is a person who is inexperienced in capturing these exquisite once-in-a-lifetime moments, they may not know how to look for the important highlights of a birth story, and so often, not only is it common for the quality of non-professional birth photos to be compromised, but the photos may all together be of not quite the special and emotional moments the parents wanted to remember from this day.

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5. This is the picture I wanted:

Is what most of my clients who are having their second or third baby say to me when they describe the lack of photos of these special memories from their previous births. And it is also one of the moments and photos my first time moms are looking forward to seeing in their birth story once they give birth.

6. Family Matters

Family matters to my clients, and these kinds of reactions below would NOT be possible without quick acting and knowing your camera gear and what to look for and when to expect it.

7. Forgetting Most of the Day

For most women, labor tends to be long, and towards the end — quite intense. It is easy to quickly forget most of your labor. Having it captured by someone who exclusively photographs birth, understands the physiology of birth and works really well with your doctor, midwife, nurses, doulas and family members — it is the best investment and the best way to document and remember this incredibly life-changing experience forever.

Behind the scenes of birth photography | discretion, respect, love

MIDWIFE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: Courtney McMillian CNM of Boca Midwifery

My first birth with Courtney McMillian of Boca Midwifery as the midwife was the pivotal moment when my view of birth changed. She is my person supergirl in scrubs. She is the kindest, most patient midwifery practitioner. Here are some fun facts about this amazing birth provider!

• Courtney McMillian is a Certified Nurse Midwife which means that she delivers babies in the hospital

• She has been a midwife for 4 years

• She became a midwife to help women have better (more gentle/less interventional) births

• She has 3 children, ages 4, 8, 11

• Her own first birth with her first child was a home water birth

• She has given birth at home, at Boca Raton Regional Hospital and at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital

• Courtney is married to Joseph of 12 years

• She is a Leo born in the year of the goat

• Her favorite color is navy blue

• When she was a child she wanted to be a pediatrician when she grew up

• Her favorite place to go with her entire family is the beach. Or away anywhere they are all together! 

• In the morning she drinks 2 cups of coffee

• She is an omnivore

• Something you don’t know about her is that she lived in Spain for 6 months in college

• Her proudest moments as a midwife are helping women achieve vaginal births after c-sections (VBACs)

DOULA HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: Orlando Labor Doula Katherin | Rin Rin Doula

I recently met a fantastic human being and amazing labor doula in Orlando, FL — Katherin Rinaldi, owner of Rin Rin Doula.

Katherin Rinaldi

www.rinrindoula.com

Orlando, FL

What really struck me about her the very first time I came across her, was her energy. Yes you read that right, her energy was so powerful and positive, I immediately knew that this woman was born to do what she does.

Katherin is the third of four children, born in Colombia and raised in a Baha’i family (a religion teaching the essential worth of all religions, and the unity and equality of all people). She moved to the US when she was 13 years old with her parents and younger brother. She got married at 20 as a student at Agnes Scott College in Atlanta, GA and her husband and she now live in Orlando, FL and have three daughters. She feels that being a mom to her three daughters has been tremendously fulfilling but also challenging. She enjoys an active lifestyle and is passionate about health and wellness, meeting new people, serving others, and traveling with her family. She loves dancing (especially salsa) with her husband, water sports and baking and gardening with her girls.

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WHY KATHERIN IS A DOULA

Katherin says she has always been mesmerized by childbirth.  One day many years ago, while her mom was talking to her two older sisters sitting at the kitchen counter, she asked her (out of the blue) if she was pregnant.  Surprised by this question from her three year old daughter, she said “Si!” (“Yes!”) with a gleaming smile.  Her sisters thought she was joking.

After she found out it was going to be a baby brother, she asked her Dad to make a countdown calendar for her; she couldn’t wait to become a big sister. She frequently asked her sisters and their teenage friends to read her an encyclopedia-type book on childbirth (with graphic pictures and descriptions) and it quickly became her favorite book around the house.  

She is now following her desire to serve women.  In fact, Doula means woman’s servant in Greek.  Katherin’s goal is to empower women and their families through pregnancy, childbirth and in the post partum period.  She feels that women need to feel cared for, supported and loved during this pivotal moment of womanhood.  Her goal is not to replace the role of the partner or father in the childbirth process but rather to be part of the birth team.. The doula-client relationship begins several months before baby is due. During this time, the mother is free to ask questions, express concerns and fears and her desires for her birth plan. As a doula, Katherin is an advocate for the mother, helping her fulfill specific desires she may have for her birth in order to have a positive and safe birthing experience regardless of birth location. Katherin provides her birth clients with continuous physical, emotional and informational support before, during and shortly after childbirth. She also is able to provide comfort measures and relaxation techniques, positive affirmations to help mothers during labor and she encourages participation from the partner in the process. After birth, Katherin stays and helps the mother with breastfeeding and encourage bonding.

If you are an expectant mother near Orlando, FL seeking the right labor doula for your pregnancy journey and upcoming birth, you can reach Katherin here: https://www.rinrindoula.com/

Guest Blogger: Nurse and author of Survival Secrets For The New Graduate Nurse

Preventing Preeclampsia Part I: Connecting the K2 Dots

We don’t know the exact cause of preeclampsia or eclampsia, and current treatments are only moderately effective. Many women who develop it will deliver preterm. Since is a severe progression of preeclampsia which involves seizures, we will only be using the term “preeclampsia.” Converging evidence suggests that supplementation with certain vitamins, micronutrients, minerals, antioxidants, and amino acids could prevent or possibly treat preeclampsia and eclampsia. We will be discussing the evidence that supports each, and make a case for the theory that nutritional deficiencies are the cause, therefore nutritional therapy is the treatment. This post is about Vitamin K2, and future posts will cover the other nutritional therapies.

Who is Elena?

Elena is a nurse and the author of Survival Secrets For The New Graduate Nurse. 

You can follow the series by subscribing on her page here: elenasdailydose.com

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Vitamin K2

Vitamin K2 (also known as MK-7 and menaquinone) is a little understood and little known vitamin and cofactor. It plays a major role the proper absorption of calcium, the prevention of atherosclerosis, suppressing inflammation caused by oxidative stress, reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes, increasing insulin sensitivity, and many other processes which we are still uncovering. Right now there isn’t even a test that is used as the “gold standard” method for assessing total Vitamin K status. What we do know, is that most people are not getting enough of it from the foods here in America. 
Let us take a look at some of the risk factors and lab values associated with preeclampsia and eclampsia (according to WebMD, 2018) and connect them to K2 deficiency.

Risk Factor #1: Preexisting Protein C or Protein S deficiency

Protein C and Protein S are both Vitamin K dependent proteins. This means that the body requires Vitamin K to be able to activate Protein C and Protein S. Protein C is made primarily in the liver, but 50% of protein S is made in the endothelial cells of the vascular walls (Frannsen et al., 2017). Vitamin K1 activates coagulation factors in the liver, but vitamin K2 activates the vitamin K dependent proteins that exist extrahepatically (outside the liver) (Frannsen et al., 2017). If a vitamin K deficiency exists, than Protein C or Protein S deficiency will also exist. If protein C or protein S deficiency is a risk factor for eclampsia, it is certainly possible then that the root cause is actually vitamin K2 deficiency. 

I was diagnosed with “mild” protien S deficiency after having three miscarriages.  I did not know then what I know now.  I had to take aspirin to be able to maintain the pregnancy.  If I had known better, I would have replenished my K2 before trying again.  I was never tested for K2 deficiency and did not even know it could be a possible cause at the time.  I will be writing about recurrent miscarriage in the near future and will certainly discuss this further.

Why does this matter in preeclampsia?

It is important to realize that calcium plays a direct role in vasodilation (the dilation of blood vessels, which decreases blood pressure), though we won’t get into the specific mechanisms here.

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You can read more here on Elena’s page elenasdailydose.com

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Boca Regional Mom’s Dream First Birth - How a Doula Dream Team Made Hypnobirth a Reality

On October 19th at 11:23pm, a sweet angel baby boy was born

This first time mom. Her devoted husband. Grandma. Their birth team. Two doulas. The nurses. Everyone supported this amazing warrior mama so much through her very first baby’s hypnobirth which started intensely in labor and delivery security check in, progressed through to her labor room shower and finally resulted in them meeting their sweet boy.

This mama spent her pregnancy energy focusing on hypnobirthing, concentrating, focusing, calming, relaxing, embracing every wave of labor that was to come.

Her team knew how important an unmedicated as natural as possible birth was to her and her husband and they did everything to support and encourage her through every contraction closer to meeting her son.

She arrived in labor and delivery with her husband and her doula from Orchid’s Nest. She breathed and relaxed and let her muscles melt as each new wave of labor crashed over her body. She had prepared to do j-breathing during this earlier part of active labor, a breathing technique that is used during labor to help release (soften) your pelvic floor which gives your baby the space to move down the birth canal, effectively shortening labor.

The simple steps to J-breathing is

• inhaling through your nose

• hold your breath for a moment if you want to work with a natural surge (contraction)

• exhale through your mouth while focusing on your baby moving down and up into your arms

• and when you are ready to repeat, repeat at a slow pace

• try to visualize the breath traveling down your body and out your bottom

• remember: it is absolutely okay and expected for j-breathing to be very noisy

I loved witnessing her focus despite the bright lights of the hospital, the noises, people asking her questions. It was evident she had practiced this amazing focus her entire pregnancy.

She held onto her husband’s back as they traveled from the lobby onto the elevator and upstairs to their labor and delivery room, while her doula supported her back for those intense contractions.

It’s vital that you mentally prepare yourself for when you arrive at your labor and delivery room, you will need to spend about 20-30 minutes back ridden in the hospital bed while the nurses get a tracing on your baby’s heart rate and your contractions before you are able to move freely during labor. While I am not 100% sure if this rule can ever be deviated from depending on your obgyn or midwife, I have seen every client (except those already crowning when they get into their L&D room) have to go through this process. It is vital when your goal is hypnobirthing and unmedicated birth, to not let this medical intervention break your focus through your visualization of your baby descending so you can continue laboring your baby down once you move through this stage.

As soon as my client was able to get out of her hospital bed, her other doula from Orchid Nest, Samara, arrived and quickly stepped in to give my client even more support. The room’s vibes and energy shifted from ‘hospital admittance’ to sacred birthing space.

My favorite photo from my client’s labor is where she is leaning over her hospital bed, with her husband and her mother at her side, and both of her doulas at either side of her, doing the double hip squeeze and the photo is from above. I think this photo is the epitome of supporting the mother and the baby through their journey earthside.

To do a double hip squeeze to relieve the intensity of pressure during labor on the back, having the laboring mom position herself comfortably either sitting, standing, leaning over a bed or ball like my client or on all fours. Place your hands on her hip bones in a W shape and with your thumbs pointing toward her spine. Ise the heels of your hands to squeeze and rotate toward the center and up slightly toward the shoulders. Hold the pressure for the duration of the contraction, and slowly release.

They slowly moved over to the shower where my client used the natural resource of the warm water from the shower to work through what ended up being final stages of labor.

At one point during a surge, it became clear we could see the very top of baby’s head. But remember, with many (and often most) first time moms, there is still a pushing stage. Not all (and not most) first time baby’s quickly slide out so this isn’t always the case of a precipitous delivery, though its important to prepare as if it were so baby is caught (delivered) in a safe manner.

She emerged from the hot shower and baby boy was crowning

She made her way to the delivery bed

As soon as she was on the hospital bed, almost simultaneously in this moment my birth photography client’s OBGYN, Dr. Arcelin, from Women’s Health Partners in Boca walked into the delivery room…

…and with a few pushes, sweet boy was born onto mama’s chest.

You were such an inspiring warrior mama. You are such a strong woman. Your doulas and I were so incredibly proud of you! And your husband was your steadfast rock. If he was nervous at all, we were never able to tell. Your constant and relentless encouragement and being at her side was awe inspiring.

And her team... Her OB Dr. Arcelin of Women’s Health Partners, her amazing doulas Elle and Samara from Orchids Nest. She had the dream team. But then again, everyone at Boca Raton Regional Hospital comprises to make a dream team!

Guest Blogger: Getting real about my postpartum experience

Birth Story Featured Guest: My birth client and owner of Shelby Truly Photography

Austin only left my side once during labor, because he had to move the car, and even then, he moved as fast as he could, because he knew I needed him.

True love is letting your wife rest her head on yours, even though you are getting soaked, because you know that is the only thing that will bring her comfort.

The best healthcare provider I have ever met. I thank God for my midwife Kathy. She truly cares about her patients, and is passionate about her job.

Meeting Thea for the first time. Birth photos all by the talented Paulina Splechta

On Monday, October 17th, 2016  at 8:16am, after 27 hours of drug free labor, my daughter was born via Cesearan. Hearing her cry for the first time, was pure relief. The battle had been won. All 9lb 1oz of her was here. They placed her on my chest in the OR, and her little hand grabbed my face. The first thing I noticed was that she had the same nose as me. I was too tired to express my emotions, and if I am being honest it wasn’t the best moment of my life. I didn’t feel the magical love that everyone talked about.  I was way too tired, and traumatized to really feel much at all.  I wanted to instantly bond with her, and feel that great love, but it wasn’t there.

The view from my hospital room. Photo by Paulina Splechta.

While we were at the hospital I spiked a fever, so they put me on a ton of antibiotics to prevent any infection that might have been forming. We stayed at the hospital for four days. If you know me, you know I am not a fan of hospitals. The constant people in, and out, the attention, and overall atmosphere doesn’t mesh well with my personality. I thank God that our hospital room had a view of palm trees, and the ocean, without that it would have been much harder for me. 

Leaving the hospital. I really hope we buckled her in better than this before we left, but we were so out of it, I’m not sure that we did. Oops.

Thursday late afternoon we were finally released from the hospital. Bringing a baby home for the first time is scary, but my husband and I were both anxious to leave. We were both exhausted, and ready to be in the comfort of our own home.  I didn’t think of how hard life would be once we got there. Somehow, bringing Thea home confused her days and nights. Instead of just eating and going back to sleep like she had at the hospital, she was awake in the middle of the night. I remember sitting in our bedroom at 3am with an awake newborn, who didn’t want to go back to sleep, or be put down. It was not fun. Add to this the fact that when I laid down to try and sleep I was having nightmares about being in labor. The lack of sleep felt like torture. We were so overwhelmed.

Time stamped 2:54am (Ironically sleeping)

Our first day home with Thea.

The next morning I called my mom in desperation. We needed help. We couldn’t do this alone, but I felt so guilty asking for help. I was Thea’s mom, I should be able to handle this right?? I felt like a burden, and a failure asking for help. I know now that I shouldn’t have felt this way. My mom got to spend time with her brand new grand baby. I’m sure she was ecstatic, but I didn’t see that in the moment.

Grammy to the rescue.

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I spent the majority of my time for the first few months of Thea’s life in this spot on the couch. It was easier for me to get up and down from the couch than the bed, and Thea slept better in the swing. ( Photo by Austin)

The months to come were some of the hardest of my life. With the lack of sleep, and my body not healing properly, depression set in (not surprising for me). It all felt too hard, like so hard I couldn’t do it. I remember asking God why he made me Thea’s mother because obviously I wasn’t cut out for it. Everyone around me expected me to be over the moon, and so in love with my new baby. This expectation just added to the guilt. I was struggling to bond, and feel the love that everyone talked about.

I don’t want to leave you with the impression I never enjoyed her, because I did, I just didn’t enjoy her like I should have.

I mean look at this sweetness. She was/is so precious.

At six weeks old, Thea started sleeping a 4-5 hour chunk in the beginning of the night. It felt amazing, and it gave me a glimmer of hope. I thought maybe I could do this after all. Sadly it only lasted a few weeks, with her teething early, sleep went out the window once again. Sleep continued to get worse, she eventually got down to waking up every single hour ( and no I am not exaggerating). This was my breaking point. I couldn’t do it anymore. I finally broke down sobbing, and my aunt took her for the night. It’s hard for anyone else to watch a breastfed baby who won’t take a bottle, but they made it through, and  I slept for five hours straight. This was the longest stretch of unbroken sleep I had slept in the three and a half months of Thea’s life.  It was also the longest stretch of sleep my body would allow. My body didn’t know how to sleep through the night anymore. 

I posted this photo to Instagram, talking about sleep issues. Looking back now, I think it should have been titled “This is what Postpartum depression looks like.” But depression is tricky, it doesn’t always look like this. There are smiles, and happy moments still, but a dark cloud lingers overhead.

Around four months old we let her cry to go to sleep, it was that, or me locked up in a mental ward.  It was one of those things I never wanted to do but ended up doing to save my sanity. (For those of you who think I was a terrible person for letting my baby cry herself to sleep. I don’t really care what you think, nor do I want to hear your opinion.) It helped. She didn’t magically sleep through the night, but enough to keep me from losing it, we went from waking hourly to 3ish times a night.

When Thea was five months old, I sought help for my mental health, and something was sparked in me. God spoke into my life, and I finally had hope of getting better. Hope is powerful. I realized that I wasn’t stuck like this forever. That God was/and still is bigger than my struggles. My bond with Thea grew, and I developed the great love that everyone talked about so much. I started to enjoy spending my days with Thea, and being her mom. 

I am so grateful for this love, and the joy that she brings into the lives of those around her. I love watching her grow, and learn. I soak up her smiles, and laughter.  I love listening to her ‘talk.’ She is my little people watcher, and observer. She is strong willed, and will let you know exactly what she wants, or doesn’t want. She loves figuring out how things work, and imitating mommy, and daddy. She is still a boobie baby, and will let me know she wants to nurse, by repeatedly pecking her face into my chest like a little bird. She loves animals, and insists on making friends with them where ever we go. And I am thankful to say that she nows sleeps through the night completely!

To the mamas struggling, hang in there, I promise it gets better. Find your village ( I am still in the process of growing mine), and accept help. I promise there are people in your life that want to help, let them. I had help, but should have accepted more. I felt guilty accepting more help, because she was my baby, and I should have been able to do it all by myself right?? 

To everyone with a new mom (or dad) in your life, ask how they are doing, care about them too, not just the baby. Don’t assume she is on a magical new baby high, too many women struggle with Postpartum Depression to assume this.  Even if they aren’t facing PPD, parenthood is hard, not sleeping is hard, trying to do it all on your own is hard. And don’t forget dad, this whole thing is hard for him too, and takes a lot of adjusting, and sacrifice. 

To all of you who helped us in this past year, thank you! When they say it takes a village to raise a child, they mean it. I have learned the importance of community. We weren’t created to do this life alone, even if you are good at being alone like I am. 

I write all of this, not for sympathy or your pity, but so the mom who is in the midst of the struggle knows she isn’t alone.  If you are struggling, and need an ear to listen, or want to share your story, feel free to email me shelbytruly@gmail.com. I will do my best to reply to everyone in a timely manner. 

Winners of Giftcard Raffle!

DRAWING DATE IS HERE!!

A week ago I announced that my past birth clients will have the opportunity to win three giftc ards in a past birth client raffle, and today is the day!