Enchanting Maternity Photoshoot at Bethesda by the Sea: A European Oasis in Palm Beach

Escape the ordinary and immerse yourself in the enchanting beauty of Bethesda by the Sea, a hidden gem nestled in the heart of Palm Beach, Florida. This historic Episcopal church, with its sprawling gardens and charming architecture, evokes a sense of European elegance that's truly unique in South Florida.

Luxury Maternity Photography: A Haven for Expectant Parents

As a luxury maternity photographer based in Boca Raton, I'm always seeking extraordinary locations to capture the radiant glow of expectant mothers. Bethesda by the Sea offers a tranquil escape from the typical beach backdrop, creating an ambiance of serenity and timeless beauty.

A Rustic Maternity Session: Celebrating a First-Time Pregnancy

This delightful couple, eagerly awaiting their first child, a baby boy, desired a maternity photoshoot that felt both magical and rustic. Having flown in from the Bahamas, they sought a departure from the familiar coastal scenery. The lush greenery and historic charm of Bethesda by the Sea provided the perfect setting to document their love and anticipation.

Award-Winning Photography: South Florida's Premier Birth & Maternity Photographer

Recently voted Palm Beach County's best photographer, I specialize in capturing life's most precious moments, from the miracle of birth to the tender beauty of motherhood. My passion lies in creating timeless images that families will treasure for generations.

Serving Global Clientele: Destination Maternity & Birth Photography

While based in South Florida, my services extend far beyond. I've had the privilege of documenting births and maternity sessions across the globe, from Iceland and Scotland to Switzerland and beyond. I'm available for travel and destination shoots, ensuring your special moments are captured wherever your journey takes you.

Contact Me Today: Book Your Dream Maternity Session

Are you expecting and seeking a luxury maternity photography experience? Let's create something extraordinary together. Contact me today to learn more about my services and secure your session.

The Invisible Breastfeeding Community, Mama You are Not Alone

Breastfeeding moms you’ll want to read this one.

When it comes to being mothers of young children, we need to stand in solidarity and offer our support, and put our own personal agendas and prejudices aside and offer non-judgemental support.

Each of us makes decisions daily that someone else may not agree with. But we are being good mothers who sacrifice, love endlessly, and fight for our baby cubs.

**Disclaimer: Please read this blog post and reply with kindness. Hurtful comments will be banned. This mother (and other moms who I know in my community as well as nationwide) have received more than enough judgement and negativity and do not need to receive anymore through my art work. This image is being shared FOR those mothers, who feel alone, who feel like they should have to hide, for those who have no one to stand up on their behalf and say "yes, you are a great mother, and this bond you have is beautiful, selfless, kind, proper and sacred” so I will stand up for them.

Below you can read the mom's thoughts on extended Breastfeeding and how she feels about publicly talking about it, it was her side of the conversation as we discussed whether or not to share this image online. The following written message was shared onto this blog with the approval from the mom who wrote it:

“I am conflicted. On one hand, I don't want to share a picture in a way that my family would see it. They thought breastfeeding beyond a year was self-indulgent, even bordering on obscene. Some of my family unfollowed me on FB when I posted sweet nursing pictures during breastfeeding week when my daughter was 2. I do not want to deal with their criticism again. There are some fights you just can't win.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a 5 or 6 year old who still wants to nurse. Many 5 and 6 year olds nurse, but no one talks about it. And no one will talk about it if no one starts talking about it. BUT, I don't know if I want that conversation to start with me.

After about age 3 or 4, nursing is not demanding like it is with an infant or a toddler. It's not as much about nutrition, as it is about soothing comfort, intimacy with your little one, and habit. By the time your child reaches age 3 or 4, it's very different. You don't need as much outside physical and emotional support. Your child can understand waiting to nurse if you want to be discreet. Nursing my daughter has been easy these last couple years.

I guess if you have a way to share a picture that won't show up on my FB wall, then go for it. I'm sure there are mothers who will benefit. I'm sure there are mothers whose children would like to continue nursing but are cut short because the mother thinks she is supposed to wean by a certain age. I admit I thought it was weird too, until I saw a couple of my La Leche League co-leaders allowing their children to self-wean. Seeing them opened up my eyes, for sure. Children WILL wean on their own. Many awesome kids (like mine) still nurse and you'd never guess it. In the end, it's nobody's business - it's between the mother and her child. Each woman should have the freedom and the courage to follow her own breastfeeding path.

I don't know if I've shared any words of wisdom... What I have learned is that mothering is the hardest job: it takes great courage for a mother to stand up for her beliefs and stand up for what feels right for her and her child. But every time she does it, she works her mothering muscles and she gets stronger. And in the end she becomes a warrior."

-Christine, nursing her daughter (age 6)

The Real Mothers You Know Who are Suffering from Post Partum Depression

A few weeks ago, Michelle Brown of ihelpmoms.com and I banded together to pull together a project that hits very close to home.

Michelle graciously offered her studio space in her home and I interviewed several real mothers in our local community here in south Florida about their experiences with post partum depression.

These courageous women share their stories below in an effort to help raise awareness that post partum depression (and general depression) can truly affect any woman. 

They share their personal experiences, their struggles, how PPD has affected their relationships and an insight into what they really need and how mothers suffering from post partum depression can get help. 

Caroline lives in south Florida with her husband and two girls under the age of three. She is a private chef, essential oils distributor and full time stay at home mom.

THE STRUGGLE

Caroline feels that the struggle of keeping it together and being the mom that she thinks she’s suppose to be affects her relationship with her first born. She feels a disconnect with her, feeling more bonded with the baby. She sees so much chaos at home, and easily gets frustrated when her first born doesn’t listen, doesn’t eat well, and she is frustrated that moms who have sleep trained kids can easily put them down, while she struggles with bedtime. The feeling of anxiety of being alone with both of her children is overwhelming to her. There are days that she feels down and she looks at her children and is inspired. But she feels miserable that she cannot manage her at times out of control emotions and feels terrible that she has cried in front of her children because she doesn’t want them to see her that way. So she tries to control her emotions and stay in neutral and takes deep breaths to prevent her emotions from going out of control in front of them.

MARRIAGE

She feels that her lack of confidence in her mothering frustrates her husband, in that he cannot help her confidence and positivity go back to how she was before having children. She feels it has cause their relationship to suffer. It is frustrating to her when her husband isn’t able to relate to what she is going through. She wants to tell her husband that she needs more softness and understanding for her shortcomings in her own confidence, calmness and positivity.

WHAT CAN HELP IS INSIGHT

She felt what her best friend told her was accurate, insightful and helpful advice to her: To give herself a break. Although she feels that sleep training is a sensitive topic, that she has to sleep train her children because she has to get her life back. She recognizes that she is sleep deprived and suffering. She felt it was truthful telling when her older daughter’s teacher said can see that she and her husband feel out of control and feel like they lost control because their older daughter has all of it, and she finds that to be especially true as they have allowed their older daughter to affect their dedication to their own marriage with date nights. She knows that at the end of the day she is doing a good job and is a good mother and that her children are lucky and loved but she acknowledges that she puts this pressure on herself that she is never doing enough, especially when she sees everyone else being that ideal parent based off of happy facebook pictures and she wants to be that parent to her own children.

The Dark Side of Birth, Rarely in the Spotlight *trigger warning*

There is a Dark Side of birth that is rarely spoken about. It is spoken about in the dark corners of the post partum 4th trimester. And sometimes it creeps into the years following a woman's birth.

There's a purpose to why I am speaking about it here.

You never know if you're going to be the incredible woman who is deeply, emotionally affected by her unique birthing experience, only until after your baby is born.

If the dark side of birth isn't spoken about, we are doing a disservice to the women among us who continue to suffer in silence, and are doing a disservice to expecting mothers and future mothers who will not know that birth can sometimes have a negative outcome emotionally, and how they can prevent a lifetime of emotional trauma.

What women need is information.

Information = Empowerment

In order to be fully informed, a mother must face the facts that there is a negative truth to birth.

But this post is not intended to simply inform women of the negative truth. It's purpose serves to guide women on how to conquer the possible negative side to birth, before that day ever comes, (should it come).

As women who believe in birth, love birth, support women through pregnancy and birth, we should be informing of the negative truth, because knowledge is power.

If a woman is informed of negative birth facts, and is given the tools to make informed decisions, she has greater chances at preventing her own emotional trauma, despite birth not going as planned.

MY EXPERIENCE

Me and my amazing thriving girls have lived through two extremely emotionally traumatic experiences (and the aftermath of the two cesareans brought with them the physical trauma I suffer from to this day).

As a woman who attends births all year round as a birth photographer, first and foremost, I support women in what their birth plan is. Whatever that plan may be. I believe that the priority is for a woman to feel safe, empowered and supported in how she needs. 

If a woman needs a cesarean birth because that is what will make her feel safe, positive, or because that is what is medically necessary, she can depend on me supporting her endlessly without judgement.

However, there is no doubt that cesarean birth can have a very difficult physical and sometimes emotional toll on a woman. And this holds true to vaginal birth as well. For some mothers bodies, vaginal birth can have a very difficult physical and sometimes emotional toll on a woman.

For some the impact is not a difficult one, and for others it is. Every woman's body and mind reacts differently to birth. And for that reason, it is integral to a positive birth experience for a woman to have a birth team that will guide her through her emotional and physical needs, a team she can trust, a team that gives her the endless, nonjudgemental support that she needs.

MY LOSS

I will never have the beautiful and peaceful meeting day with my girls that I had planned, our family is complete and I do not have the opportunity to make good decisions a third time. I did not choose birth teams for either of my births who supported me in the way I needed.

(with the exception of 2 amazing Boca Raton Regional nurses who made me feel safer when I was scared during my first child's birth)

I made decisions based on what provider accepted my insurance, and based on who was available. It was only after I had my babies that I realized those decisions were the wrong decisions for me personally.

The journey (both emotionally and physically) has been a difficult one for me. However, as I approach my youngest's 2nd birthday, almost two years after her birth, and five years of being a mother, I am finally starting to find the courage to turn my pain into a positive - I want to help inform and guide moms to choose the right birth team for them, making a birth plan they feel good about, listening to their intuition and instincts, all things I did not do.

HOW TO BULLETPROOF YOUR BIRTH

It's a funny choice of words. There's no real way to bulletproof your birth. 

Why?

Because birth is the single most unpredictable thing in life.

You may choose the best birth team for you specifically, a wonderful birthing facility, but your body or your baby may have different plans.

But that does not mean to give up hope.

Give yourself the best chances to have a positive and empowering experience.

Why? 

In the event your birth plan A and plan B and even plans C, D, E and F do not happen, and out of left field comes plan G that wasn't even on the table, in that sometimes scary, uncertain situation you want to surround yourself with the people who you feel you trust 100%. You want to look to your left and look to your right and see the people who you have felt safe with throughout your entire pregnancy. The people who empower you the way you need. Who give you the support that you need.

If you find yourself in plan G and you are scared, unsure, you may not feel very empowered anymore, you may feel alone, it is choosing that solid birth team that will help prevent those rising feelings from conquering you, from keeping you from having a positive experience.

A midwife or OBGYN who you trust flawlessly with your life, with your child's life, and who makes you feel confident, honored and respected, will make such a difference in a moment when things are out of your hands.

A doula who cares and supports you exactly in the moment you need it, who doesn't leave your side, who puts you first ahead of anything else going on in the world in that moment, that is the person you want holding your hand and giving you facts and affirmations the moment when you've lost hope, she finds it for you. 

How?

Interview, interview, interview.

Do you remember looking for your wedding dress? Did you buy the first one you tried on because it was THE ONE? If you did, lucky you :)

I tried on 20-30 dresses because I kept putting on these A line princess ball gowns and felt they did not compliment me at all. I felt insecure and questioned whether I thought I was beautiful to begin with. Then suddenly, in a new store, I saw a mermaid style wedding dress. It was on the rack in the "expensive section." I didn't even see the actual gown from top to bottom, I just saw the fabric, hand sewn silk with intricate detail that was evident to me someone had really invested a great deal of time into it. I looked at my dearest friend Monika (who had gone with me from store to store, encouraging me through the disappointing dress try-ons) and I said, I'm not even going to look at the price tag. (I was so past the point of what my wedding dress budget was; I was willing to pay way more than my budget if it meant finding the ONE that made me feel beautiful and confident). I darted for the dressing room. The dress wasn't even completely on, and not even zipped and I was crying, I was saying "this is the one!!!" 

Perhaps this story is a little silly (it's a true story) in terms of comparing it to your birth team. But I use this example, because these tremendous moments that require pause and consideration in our life, require great planning and good decisions if on the inside, we really want to feel like we made the right decision that WE feel confident about. 

So don't take lightly to choosing your birth team. 

Your experiences with them on the day of your baby's birth will remain with you in your heart and mind every day for the rest of your life.

** My birth client who had an amazing birth team (Boca Midwifery at Boca Raton Regional Hospital).

Getting Real with Paulina

To be completely honest and transparent, last night when I wrote this blog post, I totally felt like this was going to be my "get real with Paulina" blog post where I finally feel some confidence, like I finally can say from a confidant stand point that I got my ish together today.

This morning, when the wave of obligations impacted, my emotions got a little disturbed. I told my husband, I'm just going to skip lunch, I'm too stressed.

When I get stressed, I can't eat. My stomach does flips and turns and I have no desire for self nourishment, I just need to accomplish, settle, finalize. 

So before I get into today's blog post, I want to address my greatest struggle. 

BALANCE

I struggle SO much with balance. I don't know if its that I lack the time management skills or if I simply and plain put have way too much on my plate at all times, but balancing all my life and work obligations is truly my greatest struggle. 

I was having a conversation with one of my dearest friends and favorite doulas, Lisa Raynor, and I told her, "I haven't done anything for myself in I really don't know how long."

It's so true. It's very easy for me to become swept up in efficiency, power machine through life and work and kids and forget that I need down time, relaxation, self care. Self care that often gets pushed back to the end of that 4 page list of to do's I have, and let's be honest, I've never gotten out of page 1 and its been months.  

 The mommy life to small, wild children / the full time photographer life / the I own and operate my own business from home life is my greatest life's challenge.

So when I watched mompreneur Louise Glendon of ClickLoveGrow.com on Vicky Lashenko's show on facebook talking about how she and her husband had to get real and she had to cut out and simplify because she had too much on her plate, I commented on that interview with this:

“Hands down that’s exactly what is my biggest struggle, but instead of downsizing I am waiting for kids to go to elementary school - because childcare is my biggest problem!”

— https://www.facebook.com/pg/MompreneurShowLIVE/videos/?ref=page_internal

So without further ado, let me get into the blog post I wrote up for you guys last night:

I just love the mompreneur show run by Vicky Lashenko on Facebook.

I love how real the conversations get.

Not knowing what you're going to make for dinner because you didn't do your groceries because way too much obligation falls on your shoulders - I can't even begin to count how many times I've been there!

Almost 5 years ago when I had my first daughter I made the super risky transition from a steady income working for a graphics / virtual reality medical military contractor to being ALL IN the full time stay at home mom / pro photographer game. I even remember telling my husband, "if I'm not meant to be doing this then I will have no success," and then it ended up going completely the other way.

I'm a big believer in the school of thought that if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and you give it your all, that successful will come to you, but if you find yourself faced with no success it means there is a door with much greater opportunity uniquely designed for you that you are just steps away from uncovering.

And let me tell you it was not all green lights from this point, let me get real with you for a second and just completely open & honestly say that being a stay at home mom has not been the walk in the park I thought it would be. I totally anticipated a life filled with smiles, snuggles, feeling blessed and joyful and grateful day to day I definitely was not expecting postpartum depression to come out of left field and derail my entire "business plan" for my life as a stay at home mom.

My struggle with it definitely made things way harder when it reappeared after the birth of my second daughter in the form of panic attacks anxiety attacks. I think that it was the start of the second year of my daughters life that was the biggest challenge for me of the five years of being a mom. The amount of obstacles that we were met with truly tried our family. In fact, we are currently only in the baby stages of having just emerged this huge cloud that has been hovering over us for a good solid year.

During this time I had to pull together my ambition to see past the personal struggle of nothing working harmoniously in our personal lives and continue to push through professionally with my pro photographer business. But it wasn't just for the sake of finances. We made the only-one-spouse-working dynamic happen before. Granted we have two kids now and our living expenses are higher, I continued to push through with my business because it fulfilled me on multiple levels.

Vicky said in this interview, when you're filled with passion you'll get up however early to make it happen and that is so true. Through my art I find myself more confident, energetic, awake, alive, and I'm willing to make sacrifices and I have made many sacrifices to achieve the goals I have with my company. But it doesn't stop there, because I definitely had to have a supportive spouse to make it through the most trying of times. I made sacrifices but so did he. That's the only way my business could have not only survived but also thrived.

And despite not experiencing being a stay at home mom as the most blissful experience of my life, it was those struggles of my personal life as a mother and wife that provided a blank canvas for me to paint my emotions and plunge myself deeply into supporting women through art.

If it had not been for my passion for what I do, there is no way my work would have ever become a strong enough artist to run my own business, my personality would have never opened up to be transparent and real enough to be relatable for my clients, there's no way that anyone would ever trust that I am a committed professional -- because you just can't fake any of that.

It takes long, late hours and days and weeks and months and years to get to where you're wanting to go and also realizing as an artist that your work actually won't ever be good enough for YOU, that's when you realize you can be confidant about your work, when you realize you aren't 100% content with your art. That inkling of discontentment with your work is what will always keep pushing you to get ahead of yourself and achieve greater work with each new endeavor. The moment you feel like you've done it all, you've reached the top is the moment your endless creativity and passion is tapped.

A 40 hour work week and steady income would have definitely made our lives far less complicated but as an artist I could have never made it far in any of those careers.

18 Questions to Help You Hire the Right Doula for You

How to Hire the Right Doula for You

Positive Birthing experiences start with facts and information to help mothers make informed decisions

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It's not enough just to hire a doula

It's not enough to check off your to-do list, yes I hired a doula.

Every doula is different...

In the skill, knowledge and experience she offers you, in the kind of support she offers (during pregnancy and birth), in her personality and character.

If you know you want to hire a doula and would like to have a positive, calming, and empowered prenatal and birth experience, it is important that you find the right doula for YOU.

Let's start with the basics every doula should offer.

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(from the DONA website)

Physical Support

Position ideas for comfort and labor progression cross over with hands-on comfort measures like comforting touch, counter pressure, breathing techniques.

Emotional Support

Doulas help families to feel supported, easing the emotional experience of birth and also helping to create a space where the hormones of labor can work at their best. Whether a birth is completely unmedicated or medically very complex, every family can benefit from nurturing and connection at this tender, incredible time in their lives.

Partner Support

The birth partner’s experience matters in birth. Support the birth partner in being as involved as they’d like with the birth. Physical and emotional support make a huge difference for everyone involved.

Evidence-Based Information and Advocacy

Trained to help families connect with evidence-based resources so they can ask great questions and make informed decisions about their births. Serve as a bridge of communication between women and their providers, lifting them up to help them find their voices and advocate for the very best care. 

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interviewing and finding the right doula

the best match for YOU personally

As experienced a doula may be and as recommended by friends and other moms a doula may be, she won't be the right doula for you unless she meets your personal needs and you connect with her.

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QUESTIONS TO ASK A DOULA

The first important question is to YOU as an expecting mom. 

How does this doula make you feel?

Below, I have included several questions from the baby center website as well as personalized questions I would ask if I were hiring a doula for myself. 

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QUESTION 1

Are you available around my due date (for how many weeks before my due date and if up to 2 weeks after) and if in the event of emergency you are unavailable for my birth, who is your back up and when can I meet her?

What constitutes an emergency for you under which you would not be able to join me during labor/birth?

QUESTION 2

What is your training? Are you certified? If so, by what organization? And what was required in order to receive this certification? How many births have you attended prior to and after becoming certified?

**If you have any concerns about your health during your pregnancy or medical concerns about pregnancy/labor/birth, this is a good time to bring them up to inquire whether she has experience working with mothers in the past with medical needs. 

Does she have experience attending VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), births with breech babies, cesarean births, high anxiety mothers, etc. and how she approaches those sensitive situations.

QUESTION 3

Are you familiar with my doctor/midwife/hospital/birth center? Do you get along well with my caregiver? How comfortable are you attending a hospital birth?

QUESTION 4

When do you join me during labor? What if I need emotional support during early labor before things become intense, are you available then (by phone or in person if needed)? Is there a limit to how many hours of support you offer during labor/birth?

QUESTION 5

How comfortable and how available are you with communicating frequently with me during my pregnancy?

If you are expecting emotional support through out your pregnancy, to help dispel fears, to answer questions throughout your pregnancy, have expectations of being able to communicate fairly quickly (within a few hours of a text), this is a very important question to ask. 

QUESTION 6

Which labor-coping techniques do you think tend to be the most helpful?

**If you have a specific technique or method in mind that you plan to try, ask about her experience with it.

QUESTION 7

How would you work with and involve my partner?

QUESTION 8

How do you feel about the use of pain medication during labor?

QUESTION 9

What's your fee?  and how can I pay for it? How many birth clients do you take per month and why? 

What does your fee cover? How many visits or hours? Do you have anyone else due near the time I'm due?

QUESTION 10

Can I talk to a few of your recent clients?

Can I talk to medical professionals you've worked with in the past?

QUESTION 11

Will we meet again to address any concerns or questions I have and to review our birth plan or birth preferences list?

QUESTION 12

What does being on-call mean?

QUESTION 13

What happens if I have a c-section?

QUESTION 14

If I have difficulty latching my baby, can you help me?

QUESTION 16

What if I go early, before 38 weeks?

QUESTION 17

*If you are planning a Home Birth / Birth Center birth

If I am transferred to the hospital, or need a cesarean, will you go and stay with me the whole time even if just for emotional support?

QUESTION 18

How soon will I see you again after the baby is born?

Why I Needed a Birth Doula for my First Pregnancy AND Birth but Never Hired One

When I was pregnant with my first daughter Kate, I knew virtually nothing about child birth. 

I think that holds true for many women. In our modern day society, girls and young women are not raised around child birth. In fact, almost no one is. My reality was that I had never talked about nor seen child birth until I became pregnant,  so it is not so far fetched that I knew nothing.

 I definitely did not even know 20% of what I now know, 5 years later. 

Maybe I knew the Hollywood movie "birth basics". You get pregnant, you get nauseous, you get uncomfortable, your water breaks, birth is scary, messy, painful, you have the baby.

Yep, that's basically what I knew.

I cannot believe I just wrote that out.

But those misconceptions and limitations were my reality five years ago.

And it is not far fetched at all to say that many women are in the same boat.

I personally was quite scared of child birth.

As I said above, Hollywood Movies make birth seem "scary, messy, painful"

I was uneducated and very afraid to become educated, to the point where I did not want to attend a child birth class. The thought of sitting in a room with 10 other couples, rubber baby dolls, learning how to swaddle and how to wipe a baby butt and being judged by other couples and instructor, it seemed totally unappealing to me, and a little scary. I was projecting my own fears. Because fear-based birth is all I had been taught by Hollywood my entire life.

So instead of a child birth class, I dowloaded a child birth app to my tablet. I was so scared and refused to think I could ever have major abdominal surgery so I even skipped the entire chapter on c-sections.

If I could go back in time, I could see myself sitting there wishing: If only there had been someone who would have been by my side, sitting with me, guiding me, supporting me, encouraging me, helping empower me to dispel my own fears.

Before I had my daughter Kate, I had never heard the word 'DOULA' spoken by anyone, nor written anywhere.

I had how many prenatal visits with the OBGYN practice I was with? Not once did anyone there mention to me, "are you interested in hiring a doula for your birth?"

If someone had asked me that question during my pregnancy, I would have answered with:

"what is a doula?" 

And that's all it would have taken to inform me, to educate me. My intrigue into this unheard of role of a person who's sole job is to support, honor, and encourage YOU, would have jump-started my own journey into researching why I need a doula and how to find the right one.

And oh, how I could have used a doula with my first pregnancy for so many extremely important reasons:

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1. ENCOURAGEMENT & VALIDITY

During my pregnancy, I really needed someone who would validate my concerns about my pregnancy and birth and encourage me to explore them. Any time I mentioned to my OB, family or friends that I was worried about something to do with my pregnancy or upcoming birth, they'd immediately brush it off like "you can't worry about everything" or "it'll be fine"

I became so self conscious about asking my OB questions. (He was the wrong fit for me and I had no idea at the time). He was less than enthusiastic about answering any of my questions,  so I kept to myself and started to dread my prenatal visits, because with each visit I felt less supported, less important and increasingly more of a burden to him.

I could have used someone who would have recognized that grief I had during prenatal visits and help me explore what I wanted to do about it.

I had no idea that you could change medical providers.

(And I am of the school of thought that if you do not feel supported by your medical provider, if you feel like they rush you, belittle you when you ask valid questions, aren't on the same page as you regarding what you want for your pregnancy and birth, then you should at the very least interview other providers who CAN honor you. You owe that to yourself).

And even if I had known you can change medical providers, after starting out such a fear-based prenatal journey with my first baby, I know myself (the same way like I know my birth clients) and the moment your mind comes across the idea of changing medical providers, you become riddled with guilt over how much time they've invested in your prenatal care, what will they think of you, will they sabotage your medical files, countless thoughts race through your head. In that situation I would have really needed the support & encouragement that I was indeed making the right decision to leave my medical provider.

2. INFORMATION

During my pregnancy with Kate, my best friend became google.

I had so many questions and I had way too much guilt over burdening anyone to ask them all to one person.

During my pregnancy, I felt like I could relate best and trust mothers to young children since they just went through pregnancy and childbirth.

But there were only 2 or 3 mothers to young children in my life, the wives of my husband's friends.

And I felt extremely guilty bombarding them with questions. I was again, projecting my own fears, I started worrying that I have way too may questions and did not want to be judged for being neurotic and controlling that I wouldn't surrender to my OBGYN's guidance.

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3. DISPELLING FEARS

One thing that I needed most during my pregnancy with Kate was I needed someone who would help me dispel my fears.

I had so many fears during my first pregnancy and they completely conquered me.

Instead of focusing on the joy of growing this little person in my belly and exploring what my goals were for my birth, I was imprisoned in my fear based emotions. 

The right doula for me could have guided me in recognizing my fears, drawing them out from behind closed doors, and defeating them with powerful affirmations. 

I did not even have the word AFFIRMATIONS in my vocabulary until well after two children. 

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4. PLANNING A PEACEFUL BIRTH

I never got the opportunity to even get as far as planning for a peaceful birth.

I didn't educate myself about child birth, I didn't know I should have a birth plan, I didn't know I had options to change medical providers.

I just didn't know.

There was no outlet of vast information available to me.

I sure wasn't becoming informed by my OB.

I only googled questions that popped into my head such as "is it normal to have light bleeding when you first get pregnancy" or "is it normal to have menstrual like cramps during your third trimester" 

It did not occur to me to google:

"questions to ask your OBGYN" 

It did not occur to me to google: 

"birth plan ideas"

I did not know what to research.

I was lost and quite alone.

My husband never did this before.

Neither did I.

So we were left under the guidance of a singular OBGYN who I did not even feel good about. 

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5. THE ELEVENTH HOUR

Birth came and went... and became a traumatic, negative, and distant memory that I do not look back on fondly. I still carry the weight of it with me today. 

It has taken me five years to take the pain of what I went through with not one but both of my pregnancies and births, and stand up and say to myself that I want to turn my pain around into something good.

In the last few months of my life I have felt a profound calling to take my pain and use it as education to inform mothers.

That is why I have this blog and have chosen to start writing to women about birth. 

Being a birth photographer is my outlet to connect to mothers who need guidance and support. 

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But it's not enough to hire a doula.

Every doula is different in the experience she has, in the support she offers, in her approach during pregnancy and labor, in her personality and character. You need to find the right doula for YOU.

Follow this link to read 20 Questions to Ask a Doula

36 Questions to Ask a Home Birth Midwife

Choosing Your Ideal Home Birth Midwife: Empowering Questions for a Positive Birth Experience

As a dedicated birth photographer serving South Florida, I understand the profound significance of your birth story. Each family I work with holds a special place in my heart, and I'm committed to providing personalized support and guidance throughout your pregnancy and birth journey.

My Commitment to You: Personalized Care and Support

I intentionally limit the number of birth clients I take on each month, ensuring I can dedicate my full attention and energy to each family. My role extends beyond capturing beautiful images; I strive to be a silent, supportive member of your birth team, fostering a safe and empowering environment.

Guiding You Through Informed Choices:

My goal is for every woman to experience a happy, safe, and supported pregnancy and birth. That's why I'm passionate about sharing information and resources that empower you to make informed decisions about your care.

Learning from My Own Journey:

My personal experiences with childbirth, both positive and challenging, have shaped my approach to birth photography. I understand the importance of feeling heard, respected, and empowered during pregnancy and birth.

Choosing the Right Midwife: Key Questions to Ask

When considering a home birth, selecting the right midwife is crucial. Below you’ll find a list of essential questions to ask during your initial consultation with a home birth midwife.

• Before you dive in… What is your own personal criteria for choosing a midwife? Begin by reflecting on your values, preferences, and desired birth experience. What qualities and skills are most important to you in a midwife?

This question sets the foundation for your decision-making process. It's crucial to find a midwife whose philosophy and approach align with your own, ensuring you feel comfortable, confident, and supported throughout your journey.

Additional Questions to Ask Your Home Birth Midwife:

(These can also be adapted for hospital-based midwives and OBGYNs)

Question #1

The most important questions, are going to be the Questions to Yourself. Because ultimately, as skilled, recommended and pleasant a midwife might be, they won't be the right midwife for you unless they meet your personal criteria.

As an innately wise woman, you carrying with you the gift of motherly instinct and intuition to guard yourself and your little growing life. I urge you to consider the following:

When you interview a home birth midwife, once the interview is complete, and you return home, allow yourself quiet, down time to reflect on the experience. Allow yourself to process how the meeting went.

How did you feel as the midwife spoke?

How did the things she said make you feel? 

Did she let you feel heard and not rushed?

Did her personality help you to feel connected and instantly safe and supported?

Take note of what feelings may rise from your instincts.

Those feelings will always be 100% right. 

They will become LOUD during your pregnancy and birth.

There is a difference, of course, between leaving the meeting with a midwife and realizing you have more questions for her, and feel unsettled until you follow up and clear up uncertainties. Not every first meeting will be perfectly complete.

However, if you feel hesitant or unsure regarding your very first meeting, and if any negative feelings are present, as your pregnancy proceeds, take into consideration that those instinctual feelings you had the first time will become louder and more pronounced and ultimately, unavoidable. It is impossible to hush the roar of your maternal instincts without compromising your peace. I speak so profoundly to this matter because I have lived this reality with my own experiences. 

Alternately, if during the very first meeting with a midwife you felt connected, safe, supported, and you smiled, perhaps a tear welled up in your eye because you felt like you found 'home' with this person, those feelings will amplify as you get closer to your meeting day with your baby and aid in creating a positive mindset for your labor and birth and boost your self confidence. And in order to have the peaceful, calm birth you desire, you must believe in yourself and feel supported in your decisions.

Here are some additional questions from the Birth Without Fear blog that I felt are very helpful in aiding you to process how you feel after your first meeting with a new midwife:

1. Would you be friends with this person? Why/Why not? 

2. Does either remind you of your mother? How do you feel about this? 

3. Were you able to ask all the questions you wanted to? Why/Why not? 

4. How did you feel about the birth when talking with them, compared to how you feel about it normally? More or less excited, more or less anxious? 

5. Was the visit enjoyable?

6. If there were other family members present, what was their experience of the interaction? 

The following questions are designed to help you explore various aspects of home birth and midwifery care. Feel free to personalize this list based on your specific birth plan and priorities. Choose the questions that resonate with you and spark your curiosity, as they'll lead to the most insightful conversations during your midwife interviews.

Question #2

Vaginal Checks

How many vaginal checks do you do, during pregnancy, during labor; should I get them, how necessary are they, what are the benefits/downsides and when do I need to have them done? 

Question #3

Do you deliver breech? Do you deliver all kinds of breech? Do you have training and experience in this kind of delivery? If not, do you have a midwife you would refer me to if the baby had not turned?  Do you have experience with turning babies, not hospital version-style?

Question #4

Medical Situations

What kind of medical situations during pregnancy would require me to be transferred into the care of an OBGYN?

Question #5

Transfers

Under what circumstances would you transfer to the hospital? In the event of a transfer, (whether or not you have any privileges at the medical facility or know the doctor who I was transferred to, ) will you stay with me and support me through my entire birth and for the first couple of hours once the baby is born?

What constitutes a non-emergent transfer vs. emergent transfer? Where do I go in the event of a non-emergent transfer vs. emergent transfer? Who is your back up OBGYN, Who is your back up midwife in the event you have an emergency when I am giving birth? How many weeks ‘overdue’ could I go before you transferred my care to a doctor? How many minimum weeks pregnant must I be to be able to have a home birth (36 weeks? 37 weeks? 38 weeks?)

When can I meet your back up midwife and back up OBGYN? 

What is your hospital transfer rate?

Question #6

Under what less than ideal circumstances would you stay at home?

Questions #7

Delivery & Cord Clamping

What are your feelings on the dad catching the baby, or me catching my own baby? Will you deliver the baby, or will you assist me in birthing him/her/them?

What are your feelings about delayed cord clamping?

Question #8

 How many births have you attended? (From the mamabirth.com website, "Some mothers prefer a very experienced midwife, some don't. Some want a midwife who can handle anything that goes wrong and recognize it well before it even happens.  If one of the midwives is newer, maybe her back up OBGYN is more experienced and she may prefer to transfer you than handle a situation on her own.  You may want to know how many births they attended prior to being licensed AND after.") 

 How long have you been practicing midwifery? Why did you become a midwife? What is your training/education/certification?

Question #9

Do you do the Gestational Diabetes screening? Do you continue to see clients with Gestational Diabetes, or do you refer them to an obstetrics practice?

Question #10

How does it work with my insurance covering your midwifery services, how much do you charge, and by what date would the full amount be due? Do you accept payment plans? What is your refund policy if we decide to switch care providers?

Question #11

What equipment do you bring with you to a birth? Are you legally allowed to carry Pitocin (for rare post-birth hemorrhaging)? Do you? Are you trained in neonatal resuscitation?

Question #12

Are you planning any vacations, trips, major surgeries, or other events 3-4 weeks before my due date, or up to 2 weeks after my due date that would interfere with your attendance at the birth?

Question #13

What kind of postpartum care do you offer? Do you work with post partum doulas?

Do you do placenta encapsulation? Is there an extra charge? Do you facilitate water birth? What methods of pain management do you recommend?

Question #14

My partner has x, y, z fears about home birth. How have you dealt with this in the past?

Question #15

Communication

What is your preferred method of communication, prenatally (phone, email, text)?

Question #16

Have you had any loss (baby or mother)? Why and what happened?

Question #17

If I change my mind about home birth and ASK to be taken to the hospital, how will you respond?  

Question #18

Who comes with you to the birth?  If that person is another midwife, how experienced is she?  If that person is NOT another midwife, what qualifies her as a birth attendant?  

Question #19

 Can you resuscitate an infant?  Are you NRP certified? 

Question #20

How bad would a perineum tear need to be for you to feel it required a hospital transfer? 

Question #21

What things would make me "high risk" and necessitate transfer of care either during pregnancy or labor?  (Again a question from mamabirth.com - "Some midwives are only comfortable with very low risk and very healthy women. Limit how often they see things go wrong and may impact if they will or won't recognize it."  "You deserve to know what your midwife is or isn't comfortable with before the eleventh hour.")

Question #22

At what point during my labor will you come to my home? When should I call you?

*** Mention any concerns at this point about a history of labors women in your family have had that may be of importance to you for your birth 

Question #23

How does it work if I am GBS positive - how often do you administer antibiotics during labor and do you do specific procedures with the baby after birth

Question #24

What are the pros and cons of vitamin K shot and eye ointment

Question #25

Do I need to order a home birth kit on my own or do you bring it and include it in your fees?

Do you bring an inflatable water birthing tub with you or do I need to privately rent one and purchase a tub liner for it? How easy is it to connect a hose to your sink to fill a tub and are there certain plumbing situations that could prevent that?

Question #26

Do you prefer working with a doula? 

Question #27

What is your experience with herbs, homeopathy, and alternative medicine as pregnancy and labor support?

Question #28

Do you offer or suggest taking childbirth preparation courses?

Question #29

Do you routinely check glucose and protein levels via urine samples at visits?

Question #30

If my water breaks before labor (contractions) even begins, how long can I labor at home for before you are required to transfer me to the hospital?

** I personally include this question on this list, because it was one of my biggest concerns that this would happen due to my history of a medical condition I had with both of my pregnancies, and because this question was answered incorrectly by my midwife during my pregnancy and during my labor, because she did not confirm the answer during my pregnancy with her back up OBGYN, and it ultimately affected how and where my child was born and how I perceive my labor experience to this day. 

Question #31

What happens in the event of pre-term labor or a medically necessary induction?

Question #32

What do you do in the case of a nuchal cord? Or if the baby changes into a breech position during labor and it is too later to be transferred to the hospital

Question #33

Under what circumstances, if any, do you perform episiotomies?

Question #34

How long will you and/or your support team stay with mom and baby after the birth?

Question #35

How many postpartum visits are offered under your care and on what days do these visits occur?

 Question #36

Is breastfeeding support offered?

Additional Bonus Questions for Finding Your Home Birth Midwife:

• Prenatal Care:

  • How often will we have prenatal appointments, and what do they typically involve?

  • Do you offer any additional prenatal services, such as childbirth education classes or nutritional counseling?

• Labor & Delivery:

  • What are your views on pain management options during labor?

  • How do you handle unexpected situations or complications during birth?

  • What is your approach to postpartum hemorrhage prevention and management?

• Newborn Care:

  • What newborn screenings and procedures do you perform after birth?

  • What are your views on Vitamin K and eye ointment administration?

  • Do you offer breastfeeding support and guidance?

• Logistics & Practicalities:

  • What is included in your fee, and are there any additional costs I should be aware of?

  • Do you accept payment plans?

  • What is your cancellation or refund policy?

  • What equipment do you bring to the birth?

• Personal Connection & Philosophy:

  • Can you share a bit about your philosophy of care and approach to birth?

  • How do you foster a sense of trust and empowerment with your clients?

  • What are your thoughts on the role of the partner and family during the birth?

Remember:

• The goal is to find a midwife who aligns with your values and preferences.

• Don't hesitate to ask any questions that are important to you, even if they're not on this list.

• Trust your instincts and choose a midwife who makes you feel confident, informed, and supported.

Empowering Your Birth Journey:

I encourage every woman to embrace the power of knowledge and informed decision-making. By actively seeking information and asking thoughtful questions, you can create a birth experience that is both beautiful and empowering.

While this list provides a strong foundation, personalized questions tailored to your individual needs and birth plan are crucial. As you interview potential midwives, pay close attention to their responses and how they make you feel. The right midwife will thoughtfully address your questions, demonstrating a genuine interest in your unique needs and preferences.

Remember, trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, explore those feelings and consider other options. On the other hand, if you feel a sense of peace, confidence, and excitement, embrace it! You deserve a birth experience that empowers and honors your intuition.

Ultimately, choosing a midwife is about finding a partner who supports your vision and helps you navigate your journey with confidence.

Empower Yourself: Knowledge is Key

Whether you're opting for a home birth, hospital birth, or birth center birth, information is your greatest ally. Research your options, ask questions, and trust your instincts. You have the power to create a birth experience that is both beautiful and empowering.

Boca Raton & South Florida Birth Photography: Documenting Your Sacred Moments

As a sought-after birth photographer in South Florida, I'm honored to capture the beauty and intimacy of birth for families in Boca Raton, Delray Beach, and beyond. Whether you're a celebrity seeking privacy or a first-time parent embarking on this incredible journey, I'm here to create a visual legacy you'll cherish forever.

Contact Me Today: Limited Availability for 2024 and Early 2025 Births

My calendar is filling up fast, so don't hesitate to reach out! Let's capture the magic of your birth story together.

Natural Birth at Boca Raton Regional Hospital

Witnessing the miracle of birth is an unparalleled experience, and documenting a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) adds another layer of awe and inspiration. This powerful birth story, unfolding within the walls of Boca Raton Regional Hospital, left a lasting impression on my heart.

A Triumphant VBAC: Inspiring Strength & Choice

This incredible mother's successful VBAC is a beacon of hope for countless women exploring their birthing options. Her journey empowered many to seek knowledge about VBAC and connect with supportive providers who champion informed choices.

Tender Family Bonds: Big Sister Meets Baby Brother

Beyond the incredible feat of VBAC, the sweetness of this family's first moments together was truly heartwarming. Big sister's tender interactions with her new baby brother melted my heart. These precious early bonds are what make birth photography so special.

Boca Raton Birth Photographer: Capturing Life's Most Precious Moments

As a dedicated birth photographer in Boca Raton, I'm privileged to document these transformative experiences. Every birth, whether at home or in the hospital, holds a unique beauty and power that deserves to be preserved.

Serving South Florida: Your Trusted Birth Storyteller

I'm honored to be a part of the thriving birth community in South Florida, capturing births in Coral Springs, Delray Beach, and beyond. From the anticipation of labor to the first breaths of a newborn, I'm there to create a visual legacy that families will treasure forever.

Looking Ahead: Welcoming 2024 Babies in Coral Springs & Beyond

My heart is full of excitement for the upcoming births in 2024! Whether you're planning a hospital birth at Coral Springs Medical Center or a serene home birth, I'm ready to capture your unique story.

Contact Me Today: Limited Availability!

My calendar is filling up fast. Don't miss the opportunity to have your birth story beautifully documented.

Boca Raton Birth Photographer: Redefining Birth Through Empowering Images

This is one of the most beautiful birthing images I have ever captured, that I have ever witnessed! It is profound in so many ways. 35 minutes from this point, her second baby was born in her home. It was the quietest birth I've ever witnessed. She was a complete mama goddess. I was in awe. And I was inspired. We don't all birth this way, but it is a testament to how incredible and powerful the woman warrior, the mama warrior is. We all have different birthing experiences, and we can make them our own.

Take note that as of Monday, June 12th 2017, this post on my Facebook page has 40 likes, which is low for 3,000 followers, and no comments, no shares.

I saw a post in my FB timeline yesterday, from "On the Day" from 2009.

I had debated whether to share it. In comparison, my first child was born in 2012, 3 years later.

It said something to the effect of how I had to view photos or video of women giving birth and cesareans in some class in college and how I was pretty horrified because they looked scary and painful.

My life would have been really different had I witnessed and attended most of the births I have been to over these last 4 years before I had my first child.

I don't know how many people are aware of my own personal journey through birth, but I had traumatic birth experiences with both of my girls. I was in birth trauma therapy for 8 weeks after my second daughter. I am still getting over them to this day on multiple levels. The trauma, the disappointment, feeling like my voice and my own wisdom and intuition as a birthing mom were taken away from me, having my birth plans removed without reason, it is something I will probably carry with me in some capacity for decades to come, because YES, birth means that much to me. For me, the two days that I gave birth to my daughters were the days I changed forever in my thinking, in my feeling, in my compassion in my love, in my purpose on this earth, in the way I live.

Many of my birth clients may not know my births were traumatic, I try to bring only overflowing positive energy with me into the sacred space I co-occupy with my birth families, free of judgement, free of agenda. But I also feel my families are drawn to hiring me to capture their birth story because they can feel the passion and all the feelings in my work of what my heart and soul speak about birth.

I believe my path was meant to be. Some artists do suffer in ways to create beautiful art that is fueled by incredible passion and commitment. I do believe that is the story behind why I have laid down my life for my birthing clients and made these women, these sisters, as important to me as my own two daughters are important to me.

This image speaks too all of that. I pour my heart and soul into giving my birth moms everything I could never have, everything taken from me, and giving them this gift that I am able to create, gives my soul calm, knowing that this birthing story will impact their life, and generations of their families and friends to come in a way no one could have ever foreseen.

So lets rise up together my dear friends, sisters, and bring this image to the edges of this world, to young women in schools in every country, to know that birth does not have to be what I thought it was back in 2009 (scary and horrifying).... birth can be what you make it. Find your voice, find your empowering team that you trust blindly without hesitation, find your support system, educate yourself to the ends of the world, and find your path towards a birth you find beautiful, empowering and sacred.